


Complicated

by damagederudite



Category: Divergent - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Withdrawal, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Jeanine Matthews, Lesbian Parents, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Same-Sex Marriage, Suicide Attempt, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:33:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 35,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26649067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damagederudite/pseuds/damagederudite
Summary: Darcy Matthews believes that her wife doesn't have enough time for her and it leads to a big mistake.
Relationships: Jeanine Matthews/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Darcy sighs when she gets through the door, allowing her shoulders to slump and throwing her folder across the room. The last part was certainly not the best idea and she smacks herself before scurrying around the living room to collect all of the scattered papers. She smiles a little knowing that Jeanine would have rolled her eyes at her antics. Jeanine is always so proper unlike her but Darcy believes that it makes for an interesting relationship dynamic, they say opposites attract after all. Talking of Jeanine, she should be home soon. It’s gone seven o’clock. 

Once all of her sheets, reports and whatever else she managed to cram into the cardboard folder that Jeanine simply can’t believe hasn’t broken yet are recollected, Darcy places it on the table and heads into the bedroom. She stares at herself in the mirror and moves around a little, looking at herself from each angle. She is dressed in a navy blue dress that clings tightly to her figure. It’s not her ideal choice if she is completely honest. Darcy is a Dauntless born and actually prefers their clothing, just not their way of life she guesses. It’s not that she can’t be wild and adventurous, she just prefers to learn. 

She walks over to the draws in the corner of the room and opens them, revealing a row of t-shirts. She picks out an oversized blue one before opening the drawer below and selecting a pair of black leggings. This sort of clothing would probably be frowned upon by most Erudites but it is in the privacy of her home. A home she shares with the Erudite leader so it’s not too likely that she would get into trouble anyway. Jeanine has helped Darcy to get away with much more than either would like to admit, even down to the time she exploded her lab experiment in initiation and caused a fire. Jeanine had used her credit with leadership and intimidating influence to get the teacher to overlook what happened. It was decided that no one was at fault.

Darcy couldn’t quite understand why Jeanine had helped her at the time but a few weeks later it was quickly revealed when she finally had the courage to approach her. Darcy had never thought that she would see Jeanine Matthews blush and say the stupidest things to avoid the actual reason she came to talk to someone. Of course when Jeanine finally spat out what she wanted, Darcy agreed to go on a date with her. They got close pretty quickly and have been together ever since. 

They have now been married for eight years. Darcy can honestly say that those have been the happiest eight years of her life, and not only because she gets special treatment for being the wife of a faction leader. People were hesitant when the relationship was made public after Darcy proposed. Many people already knew but it was the first time that it was common knowledge and a lot of people weren’t too sure what to think. It’s fair to say that it didn’t go down too well with the Abnegations but most others were very accepting once they got over the initial shock. 

Darcy gets changed into the comfier clothes before checking the clock on her bedside table, Jeanine should be home in about five minutes. Saying this, Jeanine has been spending an exceedingly long amount of time at work recently. Darcy tries not to show it, but it is starting to bother her.

As if on cue, her phone rings. She picks it up. “Hello?” 

“Hi, um,” There is a painful amount of background noise but it is obvious that it is Jeanine. “I don’t think I will be home soon. I’m so sorry.” Darcy flinches when she hears a man scream in the background. “Oh shut up!” Jeanine shouts. “Sorry about that… I am so sorry and I will try and be home soon.” Before Darcy can say anything, Jeanine hangs up.

Darcy puts the phone back in the holder before falling backwards onto the bed. She covers her face with her hands and huffs. This has become far too often of a recurrence and she is going to have to address it sooner or later. 

It’s gone ten when Jeanine finally gets in. “Hey! I’m home!” she announces, hanging her coat on the peg by the door. “Darcy?” 

“I’m in here!” 

Jeanine follows Darcy’s voice into the kitchen diner. Darcy is sat at the table, swirling red liquid around in a wine glass. 

“Drinking without me then?” Jeanine comments. “What’s up Darcy? You don’t like to drink alone and you shout at me when I do.” She sits opposite her wife and looks expectantly at her, awaiting a response. 

Darcy shrugs. “Felt like it.” she mutters before taking a sip. 

Jeanine studies her before nodding a little. “Ok then.” 

Darcy scoffs before downing the whole glass. Sher stands and walks off into the bedroom. 

“What are you doing?” Jeanine asks, following her.

“Going to bed.” Darcy’s voice is monotonous.

“You still have makeup on.” Jeanine points out. 

“Oh, right… Thanks.” Darcy grabs a packet of makeup wipes out of the drawer of her bedside table and scrubs her face violently. “There.” She throws the wipe into the bin. 

“Why are you acting like this?” Jeanine knows that she must have down something to annoy her. Why else would she be acting like this? She just needs to find out what.

“What were you doing? Why are you always so late home Jeanine?” Darcy’s questions are harsh and Jeanine feels a little like she is being interrogated. 

“At headquarters and because I have a lot of work to do. Is this what you are so upset about?” Jeanine asks incredulously. 

“A man literally screamed in the background Jeanine! What are you doing at work?!” Darcy is practically shouting now.

“It doesn’t concern you.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t realise that we aren’t supposed to tell our spouses stuff these days!” Darcy shouts.

“It’s a new version of the fear serum! Ok?! I am trying to make it work out the person’s personal fears! He was a willing test subject!” 

“Mhm. Well that doesn’t give you the excuse to completely ignore me!” 

“You think I ignore you?” Jeanine’s voice is softer now and she steps towards Darcy.

“It doesn’t matter. I am going to bed.” Darcy dismisses the conversation. She flips the light off and climbs into bed. “Sleep well when you do.” She squeezes her eyes shut in anger and attempts to drift off to sleep, leaving a very stunned Jeanine standing by the doorway.


	2. Chapter 2

“Jeanine?” Erin snaps her fingers in front of her boss. “Jeanine!” she tries again. There is still no response from the Erudite leader, she just remains with her head in her arms. “Oh for fucks sake.” Erin mutters. “JEANINE!” she shouts.

“What? What’s wrong?!” Jeanine shoots up, looking around frantically.

“Meeting in five minutes.” Erin hands her a folder bursting with information.

Jeanine takes it and groans. “Yeah… I know. Let’s go.” She smooths her blonde hair out before standing and walking around her desk. Erin walks to the door and holds the door open for Jeanine. “Thanks.” Jeanine whispers. Erin smiles a little before following her out. 

“So,” Erin starts, keeping a steady pace with Jeanine. “You never fall asleep at work. Is everything okay?” 

“What?” Jeanine turns to her. “Oh… Um… Yeah, everything is fine Erin. I suppose I am working later and it’s just making me more tired.” Jeanine opts to leave out the fact that she was awake all night last night, just thinking. 

“Mm.” Erin studies her. “It doesn’t seem like you, that’s all.” 

“Yeah. Sorry and thanks for waking me up.” 

They enter the lift.

“No problem.” 

-

Jeanine hangs her coat up and puts her bag away like normal, dreading what is to come. What she isn’t expecting is what she sees next. Darcy is standing there, luminated by candles in the dimly lit living room. 

“Darcy…?” 

“We are having make up sex.” Darcy indicates to the candles around the room. 

“We are?” Jeanine aks, bewildered. 

“Mhm. Come here.” Darcy beckons her over. 

“Look Darcy… I love you and I want to sort this out but I don’t think this is a good idea. Besides, I’m not really in the mood. I had a meeting with Marcus today and he was bragging about this Abnegation girl he slept with and,” Jeanine shivers. “Yeah… It wasn’t the best of days. I’m sorry okay but not tonight.” 

“I don’t understand you!” Darcy shouts. Jeanine jumps back a little in shock. “I can never do anything to please you! Nothing is ever good enough!”

“Woah… How did we get here?” Jeanine sees that Darcy is beginning to cry. “Darcy? Why are you crying?”

“It’s so difficult to be your wife, I don’t think you understand that.”

“I do.”

“No you don’t!” Darcy screams. “And I know it’s not your fault. Look Jeanine, I know you have your own stuff going on and you struggle with other people and that’s okay, I accepted that as soon as I met you. But…” She pauses for a moment, blinking back tears. “You always made time for me. You always got me… I was special.”

“You are special.” Jeanine steps forward and tries to reach for Darcy but she snatches her arm away. 

“Don’t say that!”

“It’s-It’s true. You are special Darcy. I love you. Please? I don’t want to fight.” 

Darcy puts her head in her hands for a moment, attempting to process what is going on. She looks back up at the woman in front of her, the woman she has loved for years. She looks at her closed off but desperate body language, she can tell that Jeanine is struggling with this interaction. “I don’t want to fight either.” she whispers. 

Jeanine smiles a little, stepping forward and taking Darcy’s hands. “Let’s not then.” 

Darcy wraps her fingers around Jeanine’s. She nods slowly. “Let’s not.” She presses her lips up against Jeanine’s. Jeanine releases her grip on Darcy’s hands and wraps her hands around her neck. Darcy places her newly freed hand and places it on Jeanine’s cheek, deepening the kiss. 

“I love you.” Jeanine whispers into her lips. “I’m so sorry.”

“I love you too.” Darcy whispers back. 

Darcy doesn’t know what will happen from here but she does know that she loves her wife and she wants to make it work. She will try her hardest, but will that be enough?


	3. Chapter 3

Jeanine smiles a little as she watches Darcy at the front of the colourful classroom. People from all factions are looking at her intently, proof of how good of a teacher she is when it comes to grabbing everyone’s attention. Her dauntless past helps a lot. She hears a shriek of laughter before the bell and then the grating noise of chairs moving. 

An array of different colours dash past Jeanine, leaving her slightly disoriented, before she lets her wife know of her presence for the last few minutes. She slips in through the slightly ajar door, shutting it behind her and causing Darcy to look up from her computer.

“Hey.” Jeanine whispers. “Just come to see how you are doing.” Jeanine continues forward.

“I’m doing alright.” Darcy says, rising from her chair to meet Jeanine half way. 

They share a chaste kiss when they meet before Darcy bursts out laughing. 

Jeanine stares in bewilderment. “What?” 

When Darcy finally recovers, she clutches her stomach in pain and grimaces slightly. “I’m so sorry.” She laughs a little again. “We have been doing Romeo and Juliet and the romance in that play… I just can’t even begin to comprehend it.” 

Jeanine scrunches her nose up in disgust. “I hate that play. I don't see why we still do it.”

“The Amity kids love it.”

Jeanine rolls her eyes. “No surprise there.”

Darcy hums in agreement. “So, how is work?” 

“Don’t even.”

“That bad?” Darcy asks, assuming that Jeanine has had a bad day and perhaps that’s why she is here. 

“That bad.” Jeanine confirms. It’s been hectic and she got an email from Marcus about an upcoming meeting with an event afterwards of which she has to attend both. Darcy will have to attend the event with her, that will upset a few Abnegations. “We have to go to this gala thing held by Abnegation in a couple of weeks by the way.” 

Darcy turns her nose up. “Abnegation?”

Jeanine nods. “Abnegation.” she repeats, her voice sounding repulsed. 

“Well that will be a joy.” Darcy says sarcastically, wrapping her arms around Jeanine. 

Jeanine places her hands on Darcy’s arms, tightening her hold on her. “It will. To be fair though, we do always cause a significant amount of chaos when we are in the same room as several of the Abnegation council members.” She wiggles her eyebrows mischievously and Darcy lets out a small laugh.

“They absolutely despise you!” Darcy exclaims, shaking her head but the smile on her face giving her away. She shouldn’t encourage Jeanine, she knows this, but sometimes her Dauntless nature gets the better of her. And she simply loves it when Jeanine’s feminism pisses a bunch of conservative arseholes off.

“Not as much as I despise them.” her voice is sickly sweet, juxtaposing her words. Jeanine’s speciality.

“True.” Darcy agrees. She looks at the clock. She has another two hours until her next class. “Want to go get lunch?” 

Jeanine never gets lunch but she agrees anyway. She has been trying harder recently to make sure that Darcy knows how much she cares, how much she wants to spend time with her. 

“I haven’t eaten here in years.” Jeanine comments, looking around the canteen. It’s bursting with life and there are children from all factions everywhere. “It’s horrible and sort of nice at the same time.”

“Yeah, I agree.” Darcy takes a bite of her sandwich. She watches as two Dauntless boys begin to run at each other from opposite ends of the canteen. “Well, most of the time anyway.” she mutters. 

Jeanine lets out a small laugh. She doesn’t miss the chaos of being in school with all the other factions, she could never get along with other children. She struggled enough with Erudite children so imagine her surrounded by Dauntless. She was also a popular victim for bullies but at least she found out that she is flexible enough to be fit into a rubbish bag. “Want me to deal with it?” Jeanine offers.

Darcy contemplates the offer for a minute before sighing and throwing her sandwich down on her plate. “Nah. It’s okay. Eat your lunch. I’ll deal with this disaster.” She stands. “Boys!” she shouts. 

Their heads snap around just as they are about to tackle each other to the ground. “What do you want?!” one shouts back. 

Jeanine raises her eyebrows at the way he responded, somehow shocked despite them being Dauntless. 

“Do not talk to me like that young man. Now, please get off of each other before I have to get someone more superior to deal with this.” 

The other boy scoffs. “More superior? Like your wife? I mean, she’s sat right there. We all know that you are a coward without her. Sure you used to be a Dauntless but you never really belonged. You don’t belong anywhere. You and Jeanine, you break the laws of Erudite. You shouldn't be together and you both know it. At least Jeanine has her ridiculous intelligence going for her.”

“Okay, you need to stop talking.” Jeanine stands from her seat, her voice loud and threatening. 

“Or what?” he challenges.

“Oh, I don’t think you want to find out. I am in charge of education and, your faction leader or not, whilst you are in school, you are my responsibility. I can expel you. You won’t take the aptitude test, which I created by the way.” She smiles sweetly. “And you will die factionless. Don’t test me.” 

The boy falters for a moment before nodding at the other boy to leave. They both scurry out of the room and Darcy lets out a sigh of relief. 

Jeanine takes Darcy’s arm. “Hey,” she whispers. “You okay?” 

Darcy looks around and sees that everyone is looking at them. “Everyone is staring.” she whispers back.

“I don’t care.” Jeanine plants a small kiss on her cheek. “Come on, they don’t matter. Do you want to go back to your classroom?”

Darcy nods and Jeanine guides them away, ignoring all of the stares from students and teachers alike. She shuts the door behind them when they make it to Darcy’s office and Darcy bursts out crying.

“Hey. Woah there. Come on.” Jeanine walks towards her, wrapping her hands around her arms. “Hey. What’s wrong?” 

“He’s right.” Darcy sobs. “I have nothing to offer, I am useless here.”

“Darcy…” Jeanine hugs her, holding her tight. “That could not be further from the truth and you know that.” She begins to caress her hair. “You are so important. You have so much to offer. I need you and Erudite needs you. You are what keeps me going. Without you, Erudite would have been well and truly fucked years ago.” Jeanine laughs a little at the end.

“But that’s not true,” Darcy sniffles. “You would do fine without me.”

Jeanine shakes her head. “No Darcy. No I wouldn’t."


	4. Chapter 4

“What do you think about kids?” Darcy asks from her place at the kitchen work surface.

Jeanine spits out her coffee. “K-Kids?!” 

“Yeah… You know, little humans.” Darcy smiles softly.

Jeanine rolls her eyes. “I think I know what kids are Darcy.” She decides not to point out that kids are actually baby goats. Darcy never appreciates things like that. 

“Are you sure?” Darcy lightly asks, narrowing her eyes in comedic suspicion.

“Pretty.” Jeanine smiles a little. “So,” She places her mug down on the breakfast bar. “What about them?” 

“Well, us having them obviously.” 

“I don’t know Darcy… I mean, do you really think I am mother material?” Jeanine had never imagined herself having children. Other girls would talk about it but it never really crossed her mind. She was never like the other girls anyway. She was never obsessed with boys and she was always studying or working for Norton. She has always assumed that her whole life would be dedicated to work. Of course, when she met Darcy things changed a little but she had still never gone to the extent of thinking about having children. 

Darcy flicked the toaster on. “Sure. Why wouldn’t you be?” 

Jeanine shrugs. “I’m very career focussed. I have just never really thought about it I suppose. I wasn’t aware it was something you had.” 

“I have only really thought about it these last couple of years.” The toaster pops and Darcy takes the two pieces of toast out of the toaster. “God, that’s hot.” she mutters. She places them on a plate and moves to the fridge. “I don’t want you to be pressured into making a decision.” She retrieves the butter from the fridge before shutting the door. “I just thought I should at least bring it up.” 

Jeanine nods and takes a sip of her coffee. “I’ll try and consider it.” she offers. 

Darcy tries to hide her disappointment, she knows that it almost certainly means no. She forces a smile onto her face. “Good. I couldn’t ask for anymore.”

She finishes buttering her toast and puts the butter away. She gives Jeanine a quick peck on the lips before sitting down next to her with her breakfast. Jeanine very rarely eats breakfast, just far too many cups of coffee. 

“So, you don’t have work today. Right?” Jeanine changes the subject.

Darcy nods, not able to speak due to a large amount of toast being in her mouth. It takes what feels like forever for her to swallow. “Yes.” she finally says. “I could probably do some marking though.”

“Ok. We need to go dress shopping then.” 

“What for?” 

“The Abnegation thing.” Jeanine downs the last bit of her coffee. She moves to the sink to wash her mug up, preferring not to leave washing up for later.

“Don’t we have dresses already?” They have been to plenty of these before and Darcy is sure that they both have plenty of clothes.

Jeanine shakes her head, smiling slightly as she remembers why. “We kind of wrecked the old ones.”

“What?” Darcy scratches her head, attempting to remember what happened to their old dresses. She gets a faint memory of a glass of wine being spilt but nothing more. “What did we do?”

Jeanine laughs a little. “Let’s see. Well,” she slowly walks back over to Darcy. She takes her hands and pulls her up. She puts her hands around her waist and pulls her close. “There was that one time that you ripped mine off of me.” She places a kiss on her lips. “And then,” she whispers against her lips. “There was the one time that we stole a bottle of champagne from a gala when we were really drunk and you spilled it all over yourself when you opened it.” The memories gradually come back to Darcy, causing her to smile. “Oh,” Jeanine pulls her even closer. “There was one that I stained with my lipstick.” 

Jeanine kisses her again as memories flood both of their minds. They can be quite adventurous after a couple of drinks. Darcy begins to walk towards the wall, their lips remaining connected. Darcy pins Jeanine up against the wall. “It would be a real shame if we wrecked this blouse too. Wouldn’t it?” 

“A travesty.” Jeanine whispers, grinning. 

-

After Jeanine gets changed and Darcy gets redressed, they make their way into a formal wear shop. 

The shop assistant has a brief moment of panic before heading over to them. “Hi.” She awkwardly waves. “I’m Jesse. Is there anything I can help you with.” 

Jeanine smiles a little in an attempt to calm her down. “Yes. We need to find something for an Abnegation gala.” Jeanine makes a face and Darcy laughs.

“Yes,” Darcy agrees. She looks at Jeanine and smirks. “We unfortunately ruined our old dresses. We have quite a terrible track record with that.” 

Jeanine laughs, taking Jesse aback quite a bit. She knew that Jeanine was married so she knew that she must be able to show some sort of emotion but she didn’t expect her to be so relaxed and normal. 

Jesse smiles sweetly. “Well I am sure I can help you two there. Follow me.” She leads the couple to the back of the shop and tells them to sit down. 

“How fancy.” Darcy comments, looking around. “Is she just going to pick stuff for us?”

“I guess.” Jeanine responds. Neither of them have been here before but the one they usually go to was closed for remodelling. 

Jesse returns with several dresses and the two begin trying stuff on. 

It takes them about thirty minutes for them both to find something they like and they leave a very stunned shop assistant. Jeanine often finds that she has that sort of effect on people when she is with Darcy. She is just a completely different person to what people think.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so much longer than the others.

Jeanine runs out into the living room, still putting an earring on. Darcy is already ready, sitting on the sofa. She smiles when she sees her frantic wife. “Calm down. We have plenty of time.” Darcy reassures her. 

It goes straight over Jeanine’s head and she stubs her toe. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Jeanine screams, holding her foot and jumping up and down. 

“There’s a table there.” Darcy laughs.

“No shit. The meeting today was absolutely awful. I can’t mess this up too. I have to prove that I am better than fucking Marcus Eaton.” 

“Hey. What happened? You usually just know that you are better than Marcus Eaton.” Darcy pats the seat next to her. “Come here and talk to me.” 

Jeanine sighs and falls next to her. “I fell over in front of everyone.” she confesses.

“Elaborate.” 

Jeanine buries her head in hands, not able to look Darcy in the eyes, before telling her exactly what happened, “It was towards the end of the meeting and I had a growing headache. I checked my bag but I must have left the paracetamol in my office. Anyway, when I stood up to voice my opinion as a representative, my vision went blurry and I fell right back down. I landed next to my chair instead of on it unfortunately. Johanna came over and helped me onto my seat but I saw Marcus and Andrew attempting to conceal their laughter. It was humiliating.” 

“It was a medical thing Jean, it doesn’t sound that bad to me.” Darcy attempts to make her feel better.

“That’s not the point!” Jeanine whines, looking back up at her. “I have to look good and I have to show him up tonight. And I might go and tell Andrew to fuck himself after a few too many glasses of wine.” 

“Well I think you look extremely hot.” Darcy kisses her. Jeanine kisses back but not with nearly as much enthusiasm as normal. She pulls back and Darcy sighs. “Seriously Jeanine, I mean it. You look great and if Marcus dares to say something he can see me outside.”

Jeanine laughs and nods her head. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Darcy smiles. 

“God, I am so lucky to have you.” Jeanine mutters. She kisses Darcy again, this time with much more enthusiasm. Darcy kisses back almost immediately and, before either of them know it, Jeanine is straddling Darcy’s lap. 

It’s roughly two minutes later when Jeanine realises that, if they don’t stop now, it will be taken too far and they will be running extremely late. She rolls off of Darcy who seems slightly disoriented until she looks at the clock on the wall and has the same thought as Jeanine. 

Pinning back the loose bit of light blonde hair, Jeanine looks at Darcy and smiles. "I love you.” she whispers, giving Darcy a chaste kiss on the lips. “We can finish this later.” she promises. 

Darcy nods, doing up the button that Jeanine had unconsciously undone. “I’ll keep you to that.”

Jeanine winks and stands. She extends her arms out and Darcy takes one of her hands. Jeanine guides them both to the door before briefly letting go of Darcy’s hands to put on a pair of ridiculously tall heels. Darcy is a lot taller than Jeanine and there has been an unspoken agreement amongst them for years that Darcy can’t wear too tall of heels because the height difference will look ridiculous. 

They both grab their coats and run out of the door. 

There is a chauffeur waiting for them when they get to the bottom of their apartment building. Jeanine often likes to drive herself but she doesn’t on official business. Besides, they will need to get absolutely shit faced to have any chance of getting through this gala without an Abnegation, Marcus or Andrew, getting severely hurt. 

“You both look fabulous.” Jonathan, the driver, says. 

“Thank you.” Jeanine gives him a small smile before slipping into the car.

“You look dashing as always Jon.” Darcy’s naturally flirtatious energy sleeps through and Jonathon blushes.

Jeanine rolls her eyes and moves her clutch bag out of the way so Darcy can sit down. “Stop flirting with the driver dear.” Darcy’s flirtatious energy has never really bothered Jeanine. She has never shown any signs of infidelity and she knows that it’s just the way that most Dauntless borns are. 

Darcy gasps. “Flirting? Me? Never. You know you are the only woman for me.”

“Jonathon is a man.” Jeanine points out, finding a loophole in Darcy’s defence. 

Darcy giggles. “I’m gay dear.” Darcy looks at Jonathon who is about to start the car. “Well, for the most part anyway.” She winks. 

“Mhm.”

Darcy believes in sexuality being a spectrum. Although she has never been able to find a romantic connection in a man, she wouldn’t object to sleeping with one. Jeanine doesn't ask questions and Darcy doesn’t think about it. She is with Jeanine and that’s all that matters to her. Jeanine is much more repulsed by the idea of sleeping with a man and also doesn’t have the time to ever think of cheating on Darcy even if she did find another woman. She simply doesn’t have the time. 

“Are you ready to go?” Jonathan asks, looking back at them through the rear view mirror.

Jeanine looks at Darcy and Darcy nods. “Yes. Thank you.” Jeanine tells him.

The ride to the hall is a short ride and they are there in just under twenty minutes. When they arrive, Jonathan helps them both out of the car before they lock hands and head up to the stairs. 

“Thank you!” Jeanine calls back and Darcy just waves with her free hand. 

“You ready?” Darcy asks at the doors. 

Jeanine takes a deep breath before nodding. “I just fell over.” She keeps telling herself. “It’s not a big deal. I just fell over.” 

Darcy plants a quick kiss on Jeanine’s cheek. “It’s not a big deal. You just fell over.” she repeats Jeanine’s own words in her ear.

Jeanine takes one final deep breath before pushing the door open. 

When they enter, everyone’s heads turn to them and Jeanine’s heart begins to beat faster. 

Feeling her wife’s hand become clammy, Darcy glares at everyone who is looking at them and most of them turn away. “Come on.” she says. “Let’s go.”

They aren’t even there five minutes when Jack comes over. Conversations with Jack can go one of two ways, he is either really sweet or he has an issue that he is going to brutally honest about. You never quite know what one it is going to be. Today it appears that he has found no issue.

“How are you feeling after today?” he asks Jeanine.

Jeanine begins to turn red and Darcy jumps in. “She’s fine. Just a little bit embarrassed.” Darcy tells him, hoping that it will get him to drop the conversation. 

Jack nods and smiles a little. “It’s really nothing to be embarrassed about Jeanine, You have been working so hard recently and we should be thankful to you, not judging the side effects.” Huh. Who would have thought? Jack is being much nicer than normal. 

“Thank you Jack.” Jeanine is now blushing, she isn’t used to compliments from people from other factions, especially not Jack of all people. A Candor’s compliments are an extremely rare gift and should not be taken lightly. 

“Of course.” He gives her and Darcy another brief smile. “Well,” He holds his empty glass up. “Must get a refill.” He comes closer. “Especially with Marcus over there.” he whispers. 

The three laugh before Jack leaves to find a waiter. 

“See, you should listen to him Jeanine.” Darcy says, referring to Jack’s compliment. If she is honest, she is equally as shocked that he would say something like that.

“I guess.”

They both get a glass of champagne from a passing waiter before taking a sip and going further into the party. 

“Why are they even holding this?” Darcy wonders aloud. 

“Brilliant question.” For once, Jeanine does not have an answer. She has not been told why they are doing this and that is because there is no real reason. Secretly, Marcus likes seeing everyone on their toes and anxious about having to make a public appearance around other factions. 

“Stunned for an answer for once. That’s a first." Darcy jokes.

“Oh fuck off.” Jeanine laughs.

“Mhm.”

Johanna beckons them over from the other end of the hall. They both look at each other before walking over to her. 

“Hello.” Johanna greets them when they finally reach her. “Have you seen?” she asks.

“Seen what?” Darcy asks.

“Jack has a new girlfriend.” She points at the beautiful young woman standing next to the Candor leader. 

Jeanine’s mouth falls open. “How the fuck did he get her?” She concludes that she must be why he was in such a good mood.

“Very good question.” Darcy is equally as captivated.

“I honestly don’t know.” Johanna shrugs. Amity doesn’t approve of gossip but this was way too big of a shock to not discuss.

“I feel like I am in some parallel universe.” Jeanine says, still staring at the two. The young woman now has her arm wrapped around Jack’s neck.

“Oh my God. Oh my God! They are going to kiss!” Darcy exclaims.

“Fuck off!” Jeanine says in disbelief.

Johanna chuckles softly at the two. “Ooo! Look!” Johanna hisses. The two Candors are now in a lip lock.

“Anything truly is possible.” Jeanine mutters.

“He must have some scary power. I mean he just got Jeanine, the queen of pessimism, to say a phrase like that!” Darcy whispers to Johanna.

Johanna laughs. “I’m happy for him.” She shrugs. “I think he deserves this.”

“Mhm.” Jeanine takes a sip of her champagne still staring at them.

“Totally.” Darcy maintains her gaze. 

It’s shocking that he still hasn’t seen the three women gaping at him. Although, he does look pretty occupied. 

When they finally break apart, a round of applause is heard from the other Candors and the Dauntless. Both Jack and the girlfriend blush bright red. The three laugh before turning their attention back to each other. 

“So,” Jeanine turns to Johanna. “Tell me, have you bought someone?” 

Johanna shakes her head. “Nope. Just me.” 

“Awh.” Darcy makes a sympathetic face.

Johanna laughs. “It’s fine. Seriously, I’m fine. Being single is great.” 

“I wouldn’t know.” Darcy winks, causing Jeanine to choke. 

“Not everyone started dating at six years old Darcy.” Jeanine reminds her after her coughing fit ends. 

“Such a shame.”

Johanna smiles. “I’m fine. But I am certainly glad that you two found each other. Jeanine needs someone to keep her calm.”

“Oi!” Jeanine exclaims. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“You are the genius, you work it out Erudite.” 

“And you are supposed to be kind, Amity.” Jeanine retorts.

“I’m always kind.” Johanna grins. “Well I am always dosed up on peace serum. The bread is just beautiful.” 

“Good to know.” Jeanine smiles.

Darcy is preoccupied by the fact that Andrew is staring at them. He is standing on the other side of the room, his children in tow and his wife with an arm wrapped around him. She will never understand why Abnegations insist on bringing their children to help out at these things. 

“Andrew’s staring.” she whispers in Jeanine’s ear.

Johanna follows their gaze. “Go and speak to him.” Johanna encourages. “I don’t mind.” 

Jeanine sighs. “Ok.” She takes Darcy’s hand. “Let’s go. It was lovely talking to you Johanna.”

“Likewise.”

Swallowing the bad feeling down, Jeanine begins to walk over to her ex-best friend. Darcy tightens her grip on her hand when they get closer. 

“Jeanine. Darcy.” He manages to give Darcy a small smile but gives Jeanine nothing but a glare.

“You were staring.” Jeanine gets straight to the point. “What do you want?”

“Nothing in particular.” Andrew looks at his fingernails.

Jeanine bites her tongue so she doesn’t snap. His children are here and it’s unfair to them. Perhaps that is why he brings them.

“Hi” Jeanine looks down and sees that there is a little boy by her leg. “I’m Caleb! What’s your name?” The boy looks about six and appears very similar to Andrew. Natalie is looking at him slightly concerned and Andrew looks about ready to kill him. His sister remains at her father’s side. 

She looks at Darcy for what to do but Darcy just shrugs. Helpful. “I’m Jeanine.” Jeanine tells him, her voice slightly softer than normal. “Caleb is a beautiful name.” She hates that she is essentially complementing Andrew and Natalie since they picked it but she doesn’t really know what else to say. 

“Thank you.” The boy has an adorable smile. “Your name is very nice too.” 

Jeanine can’t help but smile. “Thank you.” She turns to Natalie. “He is very cute.” she says.

Natalie smiles and nods. “Yes, we think so too.” Natalie has always been more civilized with Jeanine than Andrew. 

“Is she your sister?” Caleb asks Jeanine, pointing at Darcy.

Darcy chokes. “Definitely not!” she exclaims. 

“No Caleb, she isn’t my sister.” Jeanine’s smile grows a little at his obvious confusion.

“Friend then.” He nods, fully confident that he has got it right this time. 

Jeanine looks at Andrew who gives her a small nod. Abnegation give their children an extremely sheltered and religious upbringing but he concludes that he will have to find out one day. Better this than some other way. 

“She’s my wife.” Jeanine tells him.

“I thought only men have wives?” Caleb seems obviously confused and now Darcy can’t help but smile. 

Jeanine shakes her head. She bends down so she is looking him in the eyes. “I don’t like men but I do like women so that means that I married a woman.” 

“Does that mean I can marry a man then?” Caleb asks, his eyes hopeful.

Jeanine nods, her smile growing more and more by the second. “Only when you are old enough of course.” she clarifies.

Caleb’s eyes light up. “Cool!” he exclaims, a wide smile on his face.

Andrew and Natalie share a slightly concerned look before Caleb runs over to them. “Mummy! Mummy!” he tugs at Natalie’s skirt.

“Yes dear?” she scoops him up into her arms.

“Would you come to mine and my husband’s wedding?” 

Natalie laughs a little. “Of course sweetie.” She plants a soft kiss on his forehead. Of course she almost certainly couldn’t since they don’t allow it in Abnegation and she can’t see him if he transfers but she doesn’t have the heart to break it to him. 

They have awkward discussion for a couple more minutes before Jeanine and Darcy decide to go and refill their drinks. 

“How much do you bet he will turn out gay?” Darcy asks as they walk away.

“Oh so much!” 

Darcy laughs. 

They manage to make it through another hour, occupied by Max for about half of that, before Marcus comes over to them. 

“Here we go.” Darcy murmurs and Jeanine downs her champagne. 

“Jeanine.” he says when he finally makes his way over.

“Marcus.” she basically hisses.

“How are you feeling after today?” He has a condescending smile on his face and it makes Jeanine want to smack it right off. 

Darcy doesn’t have as much self restraint as Jeanine. “Do you want a go?!” she asks. Jeanine has to drag her back to hear before Marcus gets hurt.

“It’s ok.” Marcus smirks. “I don't mind if she wants to hit me.” She looks Darcy up and down. “She could do a lot more than that if she would like.” He winks.

Darcy wants to hit herself when she realises that her mind briefly considered it. “Go fuck yourself.” she spits back. 

“Oh I will.” He looks at Jeanine. “Watch out. There’s a man around now.”

“Leave.” Jeanine is actually hissing now. Her blood is boiling and it takes everything in her not to walk over to Max and order him dead. 

Marcus leaves and Darcy kisses Jeanine to reassure her that she isn’t going anywhere. At least she isn’t tonight, Jeanine promised her that they would finish what they started earlier and there is no way that she is going to go against that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally headcanon Caleb as gay and yes Marcus is a flirty shithead and yes that's a big part of the story. This will be going weird places. But friendly reminder that I in no way support coercion which will be a big theme and that it is always ok to say no!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just Jeanine being a chaotic workaholic and Erin being a chaotic bisexual. I don't know, it just came to me.

Jeanine holds her head, still slightly hungover, as she attempts to read the reports that Erin handed to her this morning. Her vision is impaired by the use of sunglasses to try and block out the light, prescription lenses of course but the darkness makes everything so much harder. 

No one has dared to speak to her all day and it’s probably the best idea, she is not in a good mood when she is hungover and she is still fuming at Marcus Eaton. Talking of Marcus Eaton, this report is about the recent activity of Abnegation. There is a war brewing and Erudite have to be prepared. 

All throughout history, Erudite and Abnegation haven't got along but now they are really at locker heads. Marcus wants to reveal the outside world and Jeanine definitely doesn’t. Whether he is too stupid to see what will happen to most of the city’s population or whether he simply only cares about himself is yet to be seen. Jeanine has no trouble believing the latter. 

When she is finally finished with the report, she begins to compose an email to the head of the external affairs department. She needs to find out more about what is going on and her heart is beating far too loudly in her head for her to do it herself. In hindsight, she probably should have stayed at home. Missing work has never really been Jeanine’s thing though. She once came in with the flu and just instructed everyone to stay away from her so they didn’t catch it. Poor Erin was slipping things through the door and running. 

She takes two more tablets and downs a bottle of water before attempting to stand, praying to not repeat what happened in the meeting yesterday. Thankfully, when she stands, she does remain upright. She places one foot in front of the other, her head dizzying more and more by the second. She knows that if Erin or Darcy saw her right now they would scream at her to sit back down or even go home but she needs to inspect some of the labs today. 

Eventually, she makes it to her office door and opens it. Erin is typing something on her computer when she sees Jeanine at her office door. “Jeanine. What are you doing out of your seat? You are going to pass out.” She tuts. “Look at you, you look like a ghost.”

“I am always pale.” Jeanine dismisses her concern. 

Erin eyes her suspiciously and as if to prove Erin’s point, Jeanine begins to fall. She uses the wall to remain upright and leans against the door frame. 

Erin shakes her head. “For God’s sake Jeanine.” She walks over. “Just sit down.” She takes her arm and guides her back inside her office. 

“I’m fine.” Jeanine forces out before feeling a desperate need to vomit. She shakes Erin off of her and runs to the bathroom connected to her office, only tripping and smacking into a wall once. 

Erin winces when she hears Jeanine retch. Jeanine falls against the toilet, completely dismissing her usual concern for hygiene. She reaches up and flushes the toilet. Her head begins to spin again and she becomes more and more afraid that she is going to pass out. She calls Erin in to try and help her up, she really doesn’t want to pass out on the bathroom floor.

Erin comes running in. “Oh God Jeanine!” She bends down and helps her up. 

Leaning almost all of her weight on the taller woman, Jeanine makes her way to the sofa in the corner of her office. “Thank you.” her voice sounds gritty and hoarse. She places her hands over her face in an attempt to shield her eyes even more. 

“No problem.” Erin says. It appears that Erin is always there to clean up Jeanine’s messes, maybe even more than Darcy is. Although she has never said it out loud, Erin has a crush on Jeanine and has for a while. Jeanine knows this but has never said anything, she just allows Erin to believe that she is really good at hiding it. Erin got a girlfriend a couple of years ago and Jeanine seriously thought they would be together for quite a while and that Erin would get over her but then they broke up. Then Erin got a boyfriend and Jeanine wasn’t quite as confident and hated him but she still had a little bit of hope. Neither worked out and now there is just this girl that Erin fucks with from time to time. In truth, Erin will never get over Jeanine and maybe that is why her relationships are always doomed to end. 

Even though Erin sees Jeanine at her worst, like now for example, she still loves her. That’s why accepting Erin’s help can sometimes make Jeanine feel slightly guilty. Then again, accepting the help of most people, even Darcy, can make Jeanine feel guilty. She is very independent and that often turns out badly for her. 

“It might be a good idea for you to go home.” Erin suggests. “Darcy finishes work at three. Right?” Jeanine nods. “Let her come and pick you up in a couple of hours. Or I can drive you home and wait with you.” 

Jeanine releases a groaning sound that somewhat resembles a no before almost rolling off of the sofa and hitting her head on the glass table. Erin sees what is about to happen almost immediately and moves fast enough to save her. 

“Jeanine,” She sighs. “Please? For me?” 

Jeanine takes her sunglasses off, wincing at the light in the process. She looks Erin in the eyes. “For you?” Jeanine tries the words in her mouth, attempting to come to a decision about what to do. She doesn’t want to leave work but if there is one thing she hates more than missing work, it’s being a burden. “Fine.” 

Erin tries not to show how happy she is that Jeanine finally agreed to go home. It’s always like a never ending battle with Jeanine and Erin does not get paid enough for it. Of course, she doesn’t do it because it’s her job, she does it because she cares about her but that doesn’t mean that she couldn’t do with a pay rise. Being not only Jeanine Matthew’s assistant but also in love with Jeanine Matthews is quite the task. Eh, well, at least her parents are proud of her.

She allows Jeanine to cling onto her for dear life in order to stand up and to get the rest of the way to Erin’s car. She puts the sunglasses back on to try and avoid the ridiculously bright lights of Erudite headquarters. Erin attempts to get her to the lift without people staring at her. One old woman stares at her and shakes her head, probably guessing that she is hungover. Jeanine isn’t the most popular of leaders for so many reasons but one is her age. Everyone thought she was too young when she got the position over ten years ago and everyone still thinks that. They think that she is irresponsible and this probably won’t help with that. 

After a lot of hard work that will definitely kill Erin’s shoulder, they make it to the lift. When they enter, there is already a youngish looking man in it. Erin gives him a small nod and Jeanine doesn’t even bother to recognise that he is there. 

“Is she okay?” he dares to ask. The man has balls, you have to give him that. 

Erin is confused at first until she realises what he is talking about, she didn’t think that anyone would have the courage to directly address Jeanine’s state. “Oh,” she says, still slightly taken aback. “Yeah. She is fine. Just had too many glasses of wine and still came in.”

“Overworked and overlooked.” he comments.

“Pardon?” Erin thinks she knows what he just said but just wants to clarify that he is completely overlooking the fact that his faction leader is extremely hungover.

“She works so hard. I am not sure I would have come in if I was in her state. She deserves more credit amongst even Erudite itself.” 

Erin smiles. “Yes. She does.” 

He returns her smile. He is a beautiful smile that causes dimples in both cheeks. “Harvey Sampsons.” He extends his arm out for Erin to shake.

She takes it and, staring into his green eyes, she shakes it. “Erin Davidson.”

“I know.” He grins. “You are sort of a celebrity and well perhaps I pay extra close attention to you.” 

Erin blushes. He’s flirting with her? She can’t believe it. “Well… T-That’s very sweet of you Mr Sampsons.” Erin immediately cringes at herself. 

Jeanine rolls her eyes. “When you two are done flirting, can we exit?!” 

Erin’s head snaps towards the doors of the elevator and sees that they are open. Both her and Harvey begin to laugh. “I’ll see you around.” Erin says.

He nods. “See you around Mrs Davidson.”

“It’s Miss!” she calls back.

He smiles, she’s not married.


	7. Chapter 7

It’s seven in the evening when Erin rings the doorbell of Jeanine and Darcy’s apartment. Darcy opens the door to see her arms bursting with folders. Darcy barely has time to look at her quizzically before Erin explains, “Jeanine made me bring some work for her but please only give it to her if she is any better. She looked awful at work today.”

“Oh, right. Thank you Erin. Would you like to come in? I heard you took her home so thank you for that.” 

“It was nothing. And yes that would be great. In that case, I can explain all this myself.”

Darcy nods and steps to the side so that Erin can enter the modern apartment. 

“How are you?” Darcy asks, taking a few of the folders from her hands.

“Not too bad. You?” 

“About the same.” 

There has always been an awkward energy between Erin and Darcy. Erin is slightly jealous of Darcy and Darcy knows that Erin has a crush on Jeanine. She is confident that Jeanine won’t cheat on her and Erin seems kind enough so Darcy lets it slide. Erin decides that, since she has never even attempted to make a move, she has no right to be mad at Darcy. 

“Jeanine!” Darcy calls. “Erin is here!” 

Erin stands waiting when Jeanine comes running out of the bedroom, looking obviously better. She is in her pyjamas now, her makeup is off and her hair is up in a messy bun. Both Erin and Darcy love Jeanine like this, when her professional persona is stripped away. 

“Hey Erin.” Jeanine smiles. “Are those for me?” she asks, pointing at all the folders.

“Uh. Yeah. But only if you are up for it.” Erin says.

“Of course I am up for it.” Jeanine walks towards the two woman that adore her and sees how concerned they both look. “Jesus guys! I’m fine!” She holds her hands out. “Now, give me the folders.” 

Erin and Darcy both share a look before handing them to her. Jeanine’s eyes light up slightly, her brain had been lacking stimulation today. 

“We need to discuss one of the labs by the way.” Erin decides that she might as well bring it up now rather than wait. 

Jeanine, who has already moved to the kitchen table and has a folder open, looks up. “What is it?” 

Darcey sits down opposite her wife, slightly concerned about what could be wrong. An issue in the laboratories is no laughing matter and she wants to know if Jeanine is going to be overstressed by it. 

“Well,” Erin sits next to Darcy. “There have been issues of animal cruelty raised.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jeanine asks, praying that it’s nothing too bad.

“They are using hamsters and there is one that they have been using for far too long. It got weak but they saved it. I don’t think we can keep letting them use animals like this but I don’t see what we can do with this one hamster.” 

“Were they only testing on one?” Jeanine is confused as to why Erin is only talking about one.

Erin shakes her head. “The others are dead.”

“That’s awful!” Darcy exclaims she has loved animals ever since she was little and always hated how some Dauntless would treat them. 

“It is.” Jeanine agrees despite not having the same love for animals as her wife.

“We can take it.” Darcy all of a sudden says.

“We can what?!” Jeanine hopes that Darcy is joking but she is fairly certain that she isn’t.

“What? We can’t have a baby. We can’t have a hamster.”

“Erudites don’t keep pets Darcy.” Jeanine attempts to reason with her. 

“Actually it’s just not suggested that they do.” Erin cuts in. “It’s not illegal.” 

Darcy grins. “Calm down Jeanine, I don’t want to keep it here.” She just felt like playing with Jeanine’s emotions since she has still heard nothing about the idea of them having children. “Thanks though Erin.” 

“What do you want it for then?” Jeanine can’t possibly think what else Darcy could want a hamster for.

“School.” Darcy knows that a lot of her students love animals. Since a lot of them are Erudites, they can’t have them at home. It could be a nice treat for them and give the others more of an incentive to turn up. 

“That’s not a terrible idea actually.” Jeanine agrees. “Fine. Darcy can keep the hamster at school.” 

“It’s going to have to come home during school holidays.” Erin points out.

“Of course it is.” Jeanine rolls her eyes. Darcy just grins. 

Is there anything else we need to discuss?” Jeanine turns her attention back to Erin.

“Yes actually.” Erin suddenly remembers a conversation that she had a little after she returned to work with Max. “You need to go to Dauntless for a little while in a week.” 

“Dauntless?” Darcy asks. 

Erin nods. “Max needs you for an elongated period of time.” 

“Well, why can’t he come here?” Darcy suggests, though there is a hint of a demand in her tone.

“Darcy, it’s only a couple of days and I will be back before you know it.” Jeanine reassures her. She knows that Darcy hates her leaving, especially to go to a faction like Dauntless. When she went to Amity, Darcy was fairly calm because she trusted Johanna and knew that Jeanine would be fine but Dauntless is very aggressive and an environment that the likes of Jeanine are not used to. 

“It’s harsh there Jeanine.” Darcy can’t stop recalling everything that ever happened to her there just because she was a bit smarter than the rest. She knows that it will be different for Jeanine because she is actually meant to be smart but she can’t stop her brain from overthinking and she won't be able to the whole time Jeanine is there. 

“I know.” Jeanine reaches across the table and takes her hands. “I have been there before. Max will be with me the whole time anyway and he won’t let anything bad happen to me.” 

Darcy sighs. She knows that Jeanine is more than capable of taking care of herself. There is a part other that just doesn’t want Jeanine to go. They have been getting a lot better recently and Darcy really doesn’t want that to be ruined. Neither does Jeanine but she has to work. 

“Okay.” Darcy squeezes her hand. “You have to work.” she forces herself to smile.


	8. Chapter 8

“No! No! No!” Jeanine exclaims, taking a sip of her drink and smiling. “That’s all wrong!”

“Says who?!” Max is smiling just as wide. They are both sitting crossed legged on his living room floor after quite a few glasses of wine.

“Me.” 

“Just because you are the leader of Erudite, it doesn’t mean you are the smartest.”

“That’s exactly what it means.” Jeanine grins.

Max pauses for a minute, realising his mistake. “Well… Okay maybe, but that doesn’t mean you know everything!”

“Try me.” Jeanine sits up a little straighter and changes her facial expression to serious.

Max matches her. “Okay.”

After Jeanine proves Max wrong rather spectacularly for half an hour, they end up on a roof.

“I can’t believe you make initiates jump down there.” Jeanine looks over the ledge, the alcohol making her feel slightly braver.

“Welcome to Dauntless.” He raises the bottle before taking a long swig of whiskey. He offers her the bottle.

Jeanine takes the bottle from his outstretched hand, laughing. She takes a sip before pausing and looking at the bottle. “This stuff tastes awful.”

Max shrugs. “Alcohol is alcohol.” 

“That is something we can agree on.” She takes another sip, attempting to ignore the horrible taste. 

Soon, they end up laying on the roof and looking at the stars.

“How are you and Darcy?” Max asks, breaking the long stretch of silence the two were previously in.

Jeanine props herself up on her elbows, ignoring the stones digging into her, and looks at him. “Fine. Why do you ask?” 

He shakes his head, appearing lost in thought. “Nothing.” 

“It’s not nothing. Tell me.” Jeanine insists. She can’t stand people asking her a question without her knowing why. It makes her anxious. Especially if it is a question about her marriage.

He sighs and looks at her. He sees how concerned her eyes are and he immediately feels bad. “Just some council members have been saying that there is tension between you both.”

“Abnegations! What the hell would they know?!”

“Nothing. I was just wondering. This reaction is making me question whether they may be right though Jeanine. You can tell me anything. I have come to think of you as more than a business arrangement. You are my friend and I would hope that I am yours.”

Jeanine begins to feel bad. He only wants to help. “Of course I consider you a friend Max.” She lays back down beside him and looks back up at the stars. She can’t look at him when she tells him. “Things have been a little odd if I am honest. I think that she doesn’t think that I pay enough attention to her or that I would be just fine without her.” 

“Why does she think that?” Max asks.

Jeanine shakes her head. “I don’t know. I definitely would not be fine without her.” She laughs a little but it’s dark and sad. She doesn’t want to think about life without Darcy. “I don’t know how to prove how much I love her to her.”

“Well, you should probably ask Johanna if you really want that sort of advice.” Max jokes. “But, maybe she just needs you to be there. You work a lot and maybe she feels lonely sometimes.”

Jeanine nods. “She didn’t want me to come here. She made it seem like she was concerned for my safety but I know that it was about something more.”

“Just make sure you spend time with her when you get back. Maybe take her on a date.” Max suggests. 

“We haven't been on a date in years.” Jeanine has never had much time and they have never really been the date types anyway. What Jeanine doesn’t know is that Darcy loves dates, not first ones of course. Darcy would never admit it, but she is really quite the romantic. Jeanine really isn’t. “I don’t think I’d even know how to.” 

“It’s not really that hard. You take her out somewhere fancy and then you fuck her after.” 

“Yeah. I have always been more of a skipping straight to the fucking kind of a girl.” Jeanine jokes. She groans. “I really suck at romance don’t I?” 

“I’m not a Candor but even I can’t lie about that. You are fucking dreadful.” Max picks the bottle up next to him and takes a sip. “You are still married though so props to you. It really is rather impressive.”

Jeanine rolls her eyes. “I was a little more romantic when we first met. Well, when I say romantic what I really mean is that I was a nervous wreck asking her out on a date and that made me appear sweet and innocent.” 

“You,” Max rolls over and points at her. “Are definitely not innocent.” 

“Shhhh. You can’t tell people that. We will both end up in prison.” 

Max laughs. “You are probably right there. And can you imagine you in prison? You would be a disaster.” He rolls back onto his back.

It’s Jeanine’s turn to have a million little stones piercing her side. “What is that supposed to mean?! I would be just fine.” 

“Sure. Sure.” 

The bottle is now empty and the two are definitely far too drunk. Not that this isn’t a normal occurrence for both of them. In Dauntless it’s weird if you aren’t drunk and Erudite you just have to be. Imagine being the leader of Erudite sober. A nightmare. 

Jeanine is now sitting on the wall and Max is wobbling along it. 

“Max!” Jeanine exclaims. 

“I’m fine!” He stabilises himself, his arms out in the air. He begins to do star jumps, thinking he is really funny. Turns out he isn’t going to be laughing for much longer and he falls. 

“Max!” Jeanine shouts. She watches as he falls until a springing sound can be heard. Thank God they keep the net all year round and thank God he was on that point of the wall. 

“I’m fine!” he shouts back up. 

Jeanine shakes her head. That’s enough for one night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1W: implied child abuse

“Darcy.” Darcy’s head snaps up when she hears her name and a knock on the door. 

“Miranda.” Darcy smiles, she stands from her desk and walks towards the door. “How are you?”

“Just finished teaching my noisiest class for the week so pretty good.” Miranda is a maths teacher and one of the only members of staff that she can stand. She is almost fifty and always looked out for Darcy when she joined the school.

“That’s good. I have mine again tomorrow.” Darcy pulls a face despite knowing that she loves all her classes. She just hates some Abnegations that show a certain amount of distaste towards her and Jeanine’s marriage. They never say anything directly but they are pretty passive aggressive and judgy. They all think they are perfect God sends or something. 

“I wanted to talk to you.” Miranda walks in and takes a seat at the back of the class. 

Darcy nods and moves towards the desk she is sat at. She perches on the edge and looks down at her. “What about?” She can’t help but be nervous. How not Dauntless of her.

“You seem… off?” Miranda has noticed how withdrawn Darcy has been recently, she also remembers the situation with the boys in the canteen. She asked Darcy about it and she put on a fake smile but it wasn’t enough to trick Miranda. She knows her much better than that. 

“I’m not off.” That didn’t sound convincing at all. She sighs. “My mind has just been pretty preoccupied.” 

“With what?” Miranda moves in closer, showing that she is ready to listen. 

Darcy shrugs. “I don’t know.” Another lie.

“You do.”

“Jeanine.” Darcy blurts out.

Miranda is slightly taken aback. Darcy has never spoken about an issue with Jeanine before. She worries a little about hearing about her faction leaders personal life but remembers that Darcy is her friend. “Jeanine? What about her?”

“She’s so distant.” Darcy admits. “We got better after a little bit of a rough patch but now she is away for a week. I miss her and I worry about what she does without me. But I trust her so why do I worry?!”

“Because you love her.” Miranda had a similar issue with her husband once. “You had an argument and you don’t want it to happen again. But Darcy, all couples argue.” 

Darcy nods. “You’re right. I also think I really need to have sex more.”

Miranda laughs a little. “Sex life not going well? Do you mean to tell me that the leader of Erudite is bad in bed?”

“No. No! She’s great. She just doesn’t have much time.”

Miranda nods. “Talk to her about it. Or, there is always an alternative.” She winks, causing Darcy to laugh. 

“I suppose I could.” Miranda raises an eyebrow, causing Darcy to quickly clarify. “Talk to her!” she exclaims.

Miranda laughs. “I know. I know. But I think you should. She’ll understand.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you are probably right.” 

“An Abnegation asked if they could change classes today by the way.” Miranda knows that Darcy would shout at her for keeping it from her.

“Change my class?”

Miranda nods. “They asked me if their parents calling would be enough to move. They don’t want to move though.”

Darcy is shocked. “Really?! Why did they ask then?”

“Parents.”

“Of course.”

“Their parents are uncomfortable having their child taught by you. I don’t think I have to tell you why.” She definitely doesn’t. “They really don’t want to move so they asked if it was possible for it to happen.”

“Who is it?” Darcy asks. She might try and talk to them. 

“Dearing.” The Dauntless tear the poor girl apart for that name.

“Oh yeah, she’s lovely. It’s a shame about her parents.” 

“It is.” 

-

“Dearing!” Darcy calls as everyone begins to pack up.

She looks up. “Can I help you Miss?” Her face is slightly afraid, she never gets called on by teachers. Her blonde hair is tied up in a bun but two stray hairs frame her face. Her parents probably wouldn’t agree with that. Her grey dress is oversized and her figure alarms Darcy slightly. She hopes that her parents aren’t starving her.

“You aren’t in trouble. I just need to speak with you.” Darcy reassures her, she hates how afraid the girl looks.

“Okay. I’ll be right over.” She quickly grabs her second hand books before running over. 

“Hello. How are you feeling today?”

“I’m wonderful Miss. How are you?” Dearing’s voice is incredibly sweet and soft. She lives up to her name somehow.

“I’m great, thank you for asking Dearing.”

“Of course Miss.” She gives her a smile that seems to conceal so much pain. Darcy feels so guilty that she is only realising all of this now.

“So, I might as well get straight into it. I heard that your parents want you out of my class.” 

Dearing’s face drops slightly. She nods a little. “I am so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? It isn’t your fault?”

She shrugs. “Isn’t that what people say?” Her eyes are wide and search Darcy for an answer she doesn’t have.

“I suppose so. You know why they aren’t fond of me, I assume?”

“I believe so. You are married to Jeanine Matthews. Right? That’s why you have the same last name… That’s why they want to move me.”

“Yes and I would assume that is the reason.”

“That’s wrong. That shouldn’t happen. We are Abnegations. Why would that happen?” The poor girl seems so confused.

Darcy smiles a little. “Are you okay? Is everything okay at home?” 

“Yes!” The girl answered far too quickly for Darcy’s taste. 

“Hm.” She eyes her a little. She won’t get anything out of her and she doesn’t want to cause her distress. “If you ever need to talk. You know where to find me.”

“Why would I need to talk?” Dearing’s heart is beating out of her chest. She isn’t supposed to even be in her class by her parents standards, let alone talk to her.

“Perhaps about Romeo and Juliet.” she offers. Dearing appears to like that idea better. “And to play with the hamster we are getting soon.”

Dearing smiles. “Okay.”


	10. Chapter 10

Jeanine has been back for a week and Darcy was brave enough to bring up sex, or rather their lack of sex. Jeanine was understanding enough and there are some things that happened next that may concern slightly more innocent minds. 

Darcy still couldn't help but feel as though Jeanine was isolated from her as her work days got later and later but she always felt better when she was there. She was beginning to become concerned about what she could end up doing when Jeanine was gone. She is going to Dauntless again in a month for two weeks. It’s getting unbearable. But at least her sex life is great again; when Jeanine is actually home anyway. 

“Jeanine?” Darcy nudges her wife with her foot. 

Jeanine looks up from her book. “Yeah?” 

“That girl I told you about.” Darcy has spoken quite a bit about the Abnegation to Jeanine. She can’t stop thinking about it.

“Dearing?” Jeanine asks. Darcy nods. “What about her?” 

“She left my class today.” 

Jeanine sighs. She puts her book down and scoots closer to Darcy. She wraps her arms around her and pulls her closer. “Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know.” Darcy whispers. “I just feel so bad. That poor girl.” A silent tear falls down her cheek and Jeanine is quick to wipe at away. 

Jeanine hugs her closer. “You did all you could Darcy. You went above and beyond your job. She is so grateful to you, I am sure of that. I could try and get someone to keep an eye on her?” 

Darcy looks up at her. “You would do that.” Jeanine smiles and nods. “Please do then.” 

“I’ll speak to someone tomorrow.” 

“I love you.” Darcy whispers.

“I love you too.” Jeanine kisses her gently. “That’s the issue.” she jokes when they pull away. 

Darcy smiles. “Fuck them.”

Jeanine nods. “Fuck them.” 

They talk for a little while longer before deciding to go for a walk outside. The stars are beautiful tonight and they are always trapped indoors. 

They stroll down the streets hand in hand, both of them in their true Erudite atmosphere and pointing all off the stars and constellations out. 

“You are the only star in my sky though.” Darcy grins, pulling Jeanine closer to her by her waist. 

Jeanine smiles and kisses her to hide her blush. They are unfortunately by a lamppost that is illuminating the both of them. It’s times like this when Darcy feels bad for ever doubting Jeanine’s love for her and it’s times like this when Jeanine feels bad for not showing her love enough. 

“You are the most important person in my life.” Jeanine whispers softly, their foreheads pressed together. It’s never easy for her to express her feelings and affections but there is something about Darcy, there always has been. As soon as Jeanine first saw Darcy, she knew that she was different. 

-

*flashback*

Jeanine looks around her, exceptionally bored. She quietly drums her pen against her desk and completely zones out of the lecture. Norton taught her this when she was five. She begins to look around the class. There are so many men this year, especially transfers. Jeanine heard someone whispering at the Choosing Ceremony about how boys should choose Dauntless or Erudite because they have an advantage over the girls and are more likely to get in. She had rolled her eyes at that. She doesn’t know for sure about Dauntless, but that is certainly not the case at Erudite. Perhaps men get treated better but it all comes down to intelligence at the end. 

A dark haired girl sitting in the corner catches her eye. She must be a transfer because Jeanine has never seen her before. She subconsciously finds herself tracing every part of the girl’s face that she can see. She is staring intentionally at the font of the class so only her side profile can be seen. That is more than enough for Jeanine to know that she is extremely attracted to this girl though.

She is just about to exit the class when she sees the girl finally finish her stance and stand to leave. She turns around and Jeanine has to force herself to look away. She is insanely hot. Jeanine feels her brain malfunction for a brief moment before she all but runs out of the class. 

She makes her way back to the Erudite born dormitory, girls only thankfully. She throws her book down onto her bunk before flopping down onto the bed, almost landing on the book, and staring up at the ceiling. 

A girl named Erin enters about a minute later. She immediately sees Jeanine, granted she is always looking for her. She can’t help it. Erin has a crush of her own. 

“Hi!” She waves.

Jeanine is snapped out of her daze and she rolls over to see Erin. “Hey.” It comes out slightly rude and Jeanine immediately feels bad. “Erin. Right?” She attempts to appear friendlier.

Erin nods. “I think it’s fair to say that everyone already knows who you are.” 

Jeanine nods. “Mhm.” She knows it’s true but she wishes that it wasn’t.

“So, you seem kind of distracted. Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” Jeanine replies defensively.

“Oh o-okay. I was just checking.” Erin appears slightly afraid.

Jeanine feels bad yet again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.” 

“Oh.” Erin can understand that, she always has Jeanine on her mind. “That’s fair enough. Want to talk about it?” 

“Just a girl.” Jeanine has no idea why she would have told someone that. She literally only just saw this girl. This is really not what she needs. She is stressed enough as it is. 

Erin’s eyes widen. “Oh.” Her heart sinks slightly. She knew that Jeanine likes girls but she just always felt too afraid to say anything. Jeanine’s sexuality isn’t a secret but Erin’s is and so are her feelings. “Want to talk about that?” 

Jeanine shrugs there isn't really much to say.” She thinks for a moment before sitting up. This girl has always seemed nice enough. “Come sit.” she offers.

Erin reacts quickly and sits down next to her. “Thanks.” she whispers.

Jeanine smiles. “What about you? Do you like anyone?” 

Erin’s heart begins to beat quickly in her chest and her hands become clammy. She shakes her head. She swallows. “N-No.” 

Jeanine eyes her suspiciously. “Okay. If you say so.” She isn't Candor and she really hasn’t got the energy to try and extract the truth from someone who clearly doesn’t want to give it. 

“You sure you don’t want to talk about this girl?” Erin wants to move the conversation back to her. 

“It’s really nothing.” 

“If you say so.” Erin mimics Jeanine’s voice and Jeanine laughs a little.

“I do not sound like that.” Jeanine defends. Erin gives her a look. “Okay, maybe just a little.”

Erin smiles. “The other girls are off trying to sneak into the boys dormitory. Completely beyond me why they would do that.” Erin says sarcastically.

“Oh yes, I am completely clueless myself.” 

“So, I was thinking that we might,” Erin hops off of the bed and walks over to the pillow case under her bed. “Have some of this.” Erin takes the lid off and takes a sip. 

Jeanine’s eyes widen. “Oh?” It’s not really a secret that Jeanine has drunk before. All legalities go out of the window when you work for Norton, you have to do what you have to do. “Well I don’t know what you have heard Erin, but I have never touched a drop of alcohol in my whole life.” 

“That’s bullshit.” 

“It is. Give me the bottle.” She reaches her hand out and Erin hands her the bottle. She takes a sip. “It actually isn't that bad.” 

“Stole it from my parents before the Choosing Ceremony.” Erin tells her. 

Jeanine passes the bottle back to her. “The Priors weren’t really big fans of alcohol.” Jeanine hadn’t realised how much she misses them until now. She will see them again after initiation, she is sure. It’s them that have suffered the loss of their only son moving. She hopes that her staying will mean something to them but she knows it could never mean as much as Andrew staying. She is not really their daughter after all. “Kevin used to buy me some sometimes though. Carrie found out once and I had to convince her that I got it from school. She would have murdered him.”

“Oh my God, I am so sorry! I completely forgot about your parents.” Erin feels extremely bad.

Jeanine shrugs. “It was a long time ago.” 

Half an hour later, they are on the floor. The other girls still aren’t back and they both assume that they must have succeeded in getting into the boys dorm.

“So, you really didn’t want to join the other girls?” Jeanine asks. 

“All of the boys in our year are full of themselves and annoying.”

“Here! Here!” Jeanine raises the bottle before taking a sip and passing it back to her. Erin takes a sip before putting it back down on the food, they are trying to save it for as long as possible. They have a long night ahead of them after all. 

“I am fairly sure I don’t have to ask why you didn’t join.” 

Jeanine shakes her head. “You really don’t. An invite would have been nice though.” 

Erin laughs. “I think everyone knows that the answer would have been no Jeanine.” 

“That’s not the point.” 

Erin rolls her eyes and smiles. “So, who is the girl?” 

“I could ask you the same thing.” It doesn’t take a genius to work out that Erin has a crush based on her reaction to the question earlier. It also isn’t hard to narrow it down to a girl since she says she doesn’t like any of the boys. 

The alcohol has made Erin a lot calmer but she still tenses up a little. She can’t tell her. “I asked you first.” 

Jeanine sighs. “Fine. She is a transfer, black hair, holds herself like a Dauntless.” 

“Darcy!” Erin exclaims. 

Jeanine shushes her. That was definitely a good decision since, only thirty seconds later, Darcy can be seen at the door. 

Erin bursts out laughing and Jeanine attempts to hide the bottle behind her back. “Be quiet Erin.” she hisses. 

“Hi!” Darcy waves. “Sorry. I know I shouldn’t be here but I wanted to see what it looked like.” 

“And?” Jeanine asks, attempting to push down her nerves. 

“And what?” Darcy appears slightly confused.

“What’s it like?” 

“About the same.” 

“I’m Erin.” Erin introduces herself.

“Darcy.” Jeanine goes to introduce herself but is stopped by Darcy. “You’re Jeanine.” 

Jeanine huffs. “I haven’t been able to introduce myself to anyone since I was seven.” she murmurs. 

Darcy hears her. “My apologies. What’s your name?” 

Jeanine rolls her eyes. “The moments gone.” 

Darcy grins.

“Join us.” Erin beckons her over.

The three end up finishing the bottle by the end of the night. Darcy and Jeanine don’t talk much more until Darcy explodes her lab but her and Erin become close friends instantly.


	11. Chapter 11

Erin sighs and looks over at Jeanine. “Are you okay?” she asks. Jeanine looks obviously distressed. 

“Hm?” Jeanine looks up from her computer.

“You look like you're deep in a bad thought.” Erin stands from her chair in the corner and walks over to the chair in front of her desk. She sits down, delicately folding one leg over the other. 

“I’m fine.” Jeanine dismisses her completely. 

Erin just stares at her for a minute. “Okay.” 

“Did you get someone to keep an eye on Dearing?” 

Erin nods. “All sorted.”

“Thanks.” 

“She’s always on your mind.” Erin suddenly says, not thinking about the consequences at all.

“Who?” Jeanine continues to type away, she has too much work to do. She hasn’t got time to entertain Erin right now.

“Darcy.” 

Jeanine’s head snaps around. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Is this Erin finally being jealous?

“Nothing. Sorry.” Erin goes to walk back to her desk outside the office but Jeanine grabs her wrist. Erin sighs and sits back down. “You never think about yourself but she thinks that’s all you think about.”

“Where is this coming from?” 

“Nowhere.” Erin mutters.

Jeanine sighs and puts her glasses down on the table. It’s about time that she tells Erin that she knows. This can’t keep going on indefinitely. “You know I know, right?” 

“Know what?” Erin begins to panic, she has hid it for years. Hasn’t she?

“That you like me.” Jeanine clarifies. Erin squirms. “I have known since initiation.” 

“You have?!” Erin exclaims. She turns bright red. She really thought that she was better at hiding it than this.

Jeanine smiles. “Yes. You are not as good as hiding it as you think dear.” She stands and moves to the chair next to Erin. She takes her hands. “It doesn’t mean that I have ever viewed you any differently Erin.” 

Erin swallows down the growing amount of saliva in her throat. “It doesn’t?” 

“Would I have made you my assistant if it did?” 

Erin shakes her head. “I suppose not.” 

“What is it?” Jeanine can see that Erin still looks extremely lost in thought and confusion.

“It’s just… you have told me so much personal stuff about you. I have literally helped you choose outfits for events. I have seen you half naked. That never made you uncomfortable?” 

Jeanine laughs a little. “Erin, I feel uncomfortable seeing my own self naked. So yes I was uncomfortable but no more than I would be around anyone else. Come on, I know that you aren’t like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“All weird and pervy.” 

Erin laughs. “No, I am definitely not.” 

Jeanine squeezes Erin’s hands. “Then we clearly have no problem.” Erin still looks distant. “Right?” 

“It’s just a lot to process. I really thought that you didn’t know.” 

Jeanine hugs her. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” she whispers.

When they finally pull apart, Erin can’t stop looking into her eyes. Jeanine matches her eye contact and pushes a stray hair behind her ear, completely unaware of Erin’s current thought process.

Without giving it a second thought, Erin leans in and kisses Jeanine. Jeanine’s entire body is shocked, especially when she realises that she is kissing back. She jumps up. 

“I can’t do this.” Jeanine backs away. “I’m married Erin. You know that. I am okay with you liking me but I don’t like you back. We can’t be more than friends.” 

The words make Erin’s heart shatter into a million pieces, despite knowing that Jeanine has every right to react in such a way. She can't believe she just did that. 

“I-I’m so s-sorry. I didn’t m-mean to do that. I-I didn’t think.” Tears are polling in her eyes and she runs off. 

“Erin!” Jeanine calls after her. “Erin it’s okay!” But Erin doesn’t stop running until she is outside of headquarters. People give her weird looks but she doesn’t care. She takes a deep breath of fresh air and puts her hands on her knees. 

A voice snaps Erin out of her panic. “Hi. Are you alright?” 

Erin looks up. It’s the man from the lift. She quickly wipes the tears from her eyes. “I-I’m fine.” she cringes at how weak her voice sounds. That wasn’t convincing at all. 

“You don’t look fine.” 

“Well I am.” she snaps.

“Woah!” He puts his hands up in resignation. “Don’t bite my head off, I only want to help.” 

“Sorry.” Erin puts her hand to her head. What is she doing today? She likes this man and she just kissed Jeanine, now she is shouting at him. “You are Harvey, from the lift.” she says. 

He nods. “Do you want to tell me what’s up?” 

“I just made a mistake at work. That’s all.” It isn’t a complete lie.

“Jeanine harsh on you?” he jokes. 

She shakes her head. “No actually. She was much nicer and much more understanding than she should have been really.” 

“So, what’s the big deal? Mistakes happen. Everyone messes up at work now and again.” He assumes that she just forgot to tell Jeanine about a meeting or something, not that she kissed her. “Come on, let's go get a coffee and we can take your mind off of it. Unless, of course, you need to be back at work?” 

Erin shakes her head. “I never want to go back again.” 

He smiles. “Come on then,” He walks over and takes her arm. “Coffee’s on me.” 

Erin smiles slightly and allows herself to be guided to the cafe. 

They get served pretty quickly and find a small table for two in the corner. 

Erin takes a sip of her coffee, ignoring the way that it burns her tongue. Harvey studies her. She still seems so distressed.

“So, are you going to tell me what you did?” he asks, taking a sip of his coffee and wincing at how hot it is. He puts it down on the table and pushes it away to cool for a little while. 

She shakes her head viciously. “It’s too bad.”

“Oh come on! I won’t judge and I am sure it isn't that bad anyway. I won’t tell anyone.” 

She sighs and puts her cup down on the table. She leans forward and looks him directly in the eyes. “I kissed Jeanine.” 

“You kissed her!” he exclaims, luckily catching no one’s attention.

“Shhh!” Erin hisses. “I don’t need more people to know.” 

“Isn’t she married?” Harvey’s voice is much lower now.

Erin nods. “I was Jeanine’s maid of honour at the wedding.” 

He grimaces. “Ouch.” 

“Yup.” She takes another sip. 

“What was her reaction?” He has found himself incredibly interested in the story, despite being slightly disheartened that she likes someone else. 

“Slightly harsh at first but she called after me when I ran away.” 

“Why did you keep running then?” He finally feels brave enough to take another sip.

“Because I kissed her! What would you have done if you kissed your married boss?!” 

He shrugs. “I probably wouldn’t kiss her in the first place.” 

“Haha, very funny.” She rolls her eyes.

“There’s someone else I would like to kiss though. I would only ever kiss her if she was fully comfortable with it though, I don’t want her reacting like Jeanine.” He smirks.

“Who?” Erin’s brain falters for a moment. “Oh!” He smiles. “Well, she would be comfortable with it.” 

“Good.” he murmurs before leaning in and kissing her.


	12. Chapter 12

“She did what?!” Darcy exclaims. Perhaps telling Darcy about what happened with her and Erin wasn’t the brightest decision that Jeanine has ever made. “I can’t believe this.” Darcy mutters. “I have always been so kind to her! I have always overlooked it because she had always respected our marriage!” She begins to pace the living room.

“She seemed really apologetic after. I don’t think she meant to-” 

“Are you defending her?!” Darcy cuts her off.

“No, no, of course not.” 

“You are! You are defending her! Oh my God, did you kiss back?! So help me Jeanine if you kissed back!” 

“Of course I didn't! How can you not trust me?!”

“Why should I?!” Darcy screams. “You are always away doing God knows what! And that’s nearly always with Erin!” 

“Why should I trust you?!” Jeanine shouts back. She immediately regrets her decision. “No, no, I don’t know why I said that.” 

“No, I think you do. Come on, tell me. Why would you not trust me?” She crosses her arms. “I am all ears.” 

“Darcy… I really didn’t mean anything.” 

“Yes, you did! Is it because I am always flirting with people?!” 

“No! I trust you!” Jeanine’s head is beginning to hurt from all the shouting.

“Do you?! Do you really Jeanine?!” 

“Yes!” Darcy looks at her. “No.” she whispers.

“There we go then.” Darcy storms out, slamming the front door behind her. 

Jeanine sighs and collapses onto the sofa. She finally lets her tears spill. She should have kept quiet. Why did she say anything? How could she say that she doesn’t trust her? Of course she does. Doesn't she?” 

Darcy doesn’t come back all day and Jeanine assumes that she is with Miranda. She is correct, Miranda let her sleep on her sofa. 

The next morning, Jeanine has to leave for Dauntless. 

She tries to call Darcy’s phone but it goes straight to voicemail every time. She decides to try and call Miranda. 

“Don’t even try it Jeanine!” is the response she gets from Miranda.

“Miranda please, I just want to speak to her.” Jeanine tries.

“Nope. you broke the poor woman.” 

Tears threaten to spill in Jeanine’s eyes but she blinks them back. “It was all a misunderstanding. I didn't mean it.” 

“Doesn’t matter. I’m hanging up now.” 

Miranda goes to hang up but Jeanine stops her. “I have to go to Dauntless today. I will be gone for two weeks.”

“Good.” Miranda flips the phone shut.

Jeanine finally lets out the sob that has been building up in her. How could she have been so stupid?

She wipes the tears from her eyes and takes a deep breath, she has to go. She puts the handle of her suitcase up with a shaky hand and drags it after her. She hasn’t got time to worry, she has to go to Dauntless. 

Jeanine doesn’t drive herself to Dauntless, she doesn’t think that she could right now. There is an aching pain in her stomach. Regret. She should have shut up. She should have known that Darcy would react like this. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jonathan asks, his eyes remaining on the road. He doesn’t look at her, slightly afraid that she will snap at him. Jeanine can be incredibly unpredictable and so can life as a factionless. 

Jeanine sighs, looking away from the window for the first time in what feels like forever. She shifts in the car slightly and moves her arm off of the door of the door. “I fucked up.” That’s all she says and all she cares to say. Jonathan knows that.

He nods, tapping the wheel whilst waiting to take a left. “Well, I am sure it will all be resolved.” He sees Jeanine nod in the rear view mirror and decides that the conversation is over. Hey, it’s the conversation or his life if you really think about it. 

Five minutes later, he pulls into Dauntless and Jeanine walks out after briefly thanking him. She drags her suitcase behind her, attempting to squash all of her worries for the time being. She has to work now. 

As she walks down the dark halls it suddenly occurs to her that this is where she will be for two weeks. She flinches as a group of teens rush past her. Everything about this place scares her. She is definitely not Dauntless. The thing that really scares her is that she will have to be away from Darcy for at least two weeks. Can she do that? Then it occurs to her that she might have to go forever away from Darcy. But she pushes that aside. It’s a small argument. They aren’t going to get divorced over it.

She has to sleep in Max’s spare room once again. Attempting to ignore the foul odour, she begins to unpack her suitcase. Everything is in such a neat arrangement when she is done with it and everything she owns looks completely out of place in his apartment.

Max knocks on the door. “You decent?” he asks before just barging in anyway.

“Well it’s a good thing that I am.” Jeanine says, rolling her eyes. She is sitting on the bed and looking through a few emails on her tablet.

“Not for me.” he says, smirking. It makes Jeanine feel slightly ill but she tries to remind herself that he is only joking. The truth of the matter is that she got hit on by far too many Dauntless boys when she was in school. It was incredibly stupid because none of them really liked her; they just all wanted to add her to their list of conquests. You got a different amount of points for different people and Erudite lesbian was pretty high on the list for immature, Dauntless boys. The most dedicated one came out as gay just before school ended and no one was really surprised, especially not Jeanine. She forgave him for the most part but it’s something that you never really forget. 

“Is the meeting at six still on?” she asks, giving no attention to his previous statement. Joking or not, it was insensitive and she doesn’t want to give him any recognition for it.

“Yes.” That’s when he remembers high school. “Oh my God, I am so sorry.” 

Jeanine shrugs. “Nothing to apologise for.” She continues to act indifferent, composing an email to Erin who should be joining her tomorrow. She has a date today and Jeanine decided to let her go. It’s for the best. Erin needs to get over her. 

He awkwardly nods before leaving and closing the door behind him. 

The meeting goes pretty smoothly but it would have gone a lot smoother if Jeanine wasn’t so caught up thinking about Darcy. She would try to ring again tomorrow. She needs to talk to her, to hear her voice, to explain herself. 

Jeanine sits opposite Max as he proudly places down a hamburger in front of her. 

“What are you so smug about?” she asks, awkwardly prodding at it with her fork. 

“Cooked it myself.” he grins. Jeanine stares at him blankly. “I usually eat with the others!” 

“Well done.” she mutters.

Max huffs and starts eating. 

A few minutes later, he decides that it’s a good time to spark up conversation. “So, how are you and Darcy?” Max assumes that they have dealt with their problems. He isn’t wrong. They did sort out their problems, it’s just that they have new ones now. 

“Not a good topic.”

“Oh.” Max doesn’t press, he can see how emotions have overcome Jeanine. He regrets saying something, much like Jeanine really. 

They go back to eating in silence.


	13. Chapter 13

Erin has to stay with Jeanine. This is something that should absolutely never be said to Darcy. She must never know. Her mind would simply spin out of control and there would be no getting her back.

“How did the date go?” Jeanine asks, watching Erin unpack everything. “What was his name again…?” She thinks for a moment before his name pops up in her head. “Harvey!” 

Erin shuts the draw and turns around. “That is his name.” she confirms. She walks over to Jeanine and sits beside her on the bed. She breaks out into a bright smile. “It was really good.” 

“Really?!” Jeanine seems just as excited as Erin and that’s because she is. She wants nothing more than for Erin to fall in love with someone that isn't her. Jeanine wants Erin to be happy and she could never give her that. 

“Really.” Erin nods, grinning now.

“Awh Erin! I am so happy for you!” Jeanine exclaims. 

-

“So, she still isn’t answering your calls?” Erin takes a sip of wine. Both her and Jeanine are sat in a bar and are surrounded by Dauntless. It’s a good thing that they are beginning to get used to all the chaos.

Jeanine shakes her head. “It’s been two days.”

Erin feels guilt wash over her. This is all her fault. How is it fair that she now has a great boyfriend and Jeanine has a failing marriage? “I’m so sorry Jeanine.” She reaches out and takes Jeanine’s hand.

Jeanine sighs and grips it tightly. “It’s not your fault.” she whispers. She doesn’t know how much she actually believes that but she can’t be angry at her forever.

-

Another day passes, several more attempts of calling Darcy. Jeanine lays awake, staring at the ceiling and listening to the rhythmic breathing of the woman sleeping next to her. 

It’s in that moment, the same moment that she is worried about Darcy, that her mind allows her to consider what it would be like to kiss Erin. Not Erin kissing her and her jumping back. Her really kissing Erin. She will hate herself for it the next day but, for now, she will take any distraction from Darcy. So she allows herself to think about it.

She rolls over and looks at her assistant. She looks so peaceful and even in her pyjamas, her hair spread out everywhere and barefaced, she looks stunning. Jeanine has never denied that she is beautiful. She isn’t blind after all. Her beauty didn’t strike her like Darcy’s did, Erin is far more subtle and natural, but she noticed it almost immediately. 

Jeanine had known after one proper conversation with the girl that they would get along extremely well. Now here they are, the faction leader and the faction leader’s assistant. They are both completely different people to what they were in initiation, Jeanine is a completely different person, but neither Darcy nor Erin ever left her. 

Or has Darcy left her? Is Erin the only one who stayed? Is the nervous wreck who’s heart visibly sank every time Jeanine spoke about her and Darcy for the first year of their relationship the one who stayed after all this time? Not the one she married.

Even now, she has a small amount of guilt building up in her for feeling like this. Darcy is angry because of Erin. Darcy is angry because Jeanine was insensitive to her. She said that she didn’t fully trust Darcy for the exact thing that she is doing right now. 

Maybe the difference is that Jeanine has always been too socially awkward, too anxious, to ever flirt with anyone else. Maybe she is projecting her insecurities onto Darcy. Why should her confidence upset her? 

Jeanine’s mind continues to be crowded with thoughts for what feels like hours. It’s only when she hears Erin murmur Harvey’s name that she is snapped out of it. Erin has moved on. She missed her chance. 

-

Jeanine has to stop herself from screaming with joy when she sees Darcy’s name pop up on her tablet. She doesn’t care what Darcy has to say. She needs to hear her voice. 

She clicks answer embarrassingly quickly and is immediately greeted by Darcy’s waiting face. She leans the tablet against a book placed on the table. 

“Jeanine,” Darcy rubs her eyes. She seems tired. “I didn’t know if you would pick up.” She sounds tired too. 

“Of course would.” 

Darcy nods slowly. “Of course you would.” she whispers. 

Jeanine looks at her quizzically. “What’s wrong Darcy?”

Darcy shrugs. “I don’t know.” 

“You don’t know?” 

Darcy nods slowly, her eyes brimming with tears. She looks down and then back up at her wife again. She looks back up at her wife. Her wife. Why is she acting like this? “I do know one thing.” she says, more to herself than to Jeanine.

“What’s that?” Jeanine asks, anxiety building up in her chest. What if it is that she can’t do this anymore? That she doesn’t love her anymore? 

Darcy swallows down the lump in her throat. “That I love you.”

Jeanine’s eyes widen and she can’t help but smile. She pushes down the guilt building within her for last night's thoughts. Darcy loves her, she loves Darcy, and she will never think about Erin like that again. “I love you too.”

“Then why are we like this?” Darcy’s voice sounds full of pain. She can’t understand.

Jeanine shakes her head sadly. “I don’t know.” she admits.

“That’s rare.” Darcy laughs a little.

Jeanine smiles but it’s not happy. She doesn’t really know how to be happy anymore. Happiness is when she is with Darcy. Happiness is when she can feel her heartbeat and hold her close. Happiness is when she is free from stress when near her. But she doesn’t have that anymore. There is too much tension, too much that needs to be addressed. 

-

“Can you do me a favour?” Jeanine asks, taking a sip of water and placing a folder to the side.

Darcy shrugs. “Sure.”

“Okay,” Jeanine sits down, looking at her tablet propped up on books. This is what they have been doing for the past few days. Things are still weird but they are getting better. “I need you to go and see Marcus Eaton.”

“Absolutely not!” Darcy exclaims.

“Please?” 

Darcy shakes her head. “I hate him Jeanine.”

“I know but no one else can do it.” 

Darcy sighs. “What do you need me to do?”


	14. Chapter 14

Darcy huffs before knocking on Marcus’ door. She can’t believe she agreed to this. She can never believe anything she does for Jeanine. She’s even still a little angry so why should she care what Jeanine needs from her? 

She curses her wife’s hold on her as an angry looking Marcus opens the door. “What?” he demands an answer. He doesn’t bother to act polite around Jeanine so doesn’t around Jeanine’s wife either. They both know what he is really like.

“Jeanine’s files on the aptitude test. The extra research into a decade old serum that you forced her to do for no reason. I need it back.” Darcy doesn’t bother with politeness either. She hates him. He knows that. 

“Fine. Come on in.” He steps aside and indicates for her to enter.

“I don’t need to come in.” Darcy folds her arms across her chest.

“Come in.” he repeats, harsher this time.

She rolls her eyes. “Whatever.” She shoves past Marcus, knocking him into the doorframe. He smirks. He has always found her temper attractive. 

“Hot water?” he offers, fully aware that she will say no. He gets his answer when she just glares at him. “I’ll get the files.”

Darcy watches him walk to the corner of the room and retrieve the files. He offers her them, smirking for a reason completely beyond Darcy. To Marcus, this is a dream come through. Darcy alone. Darcy with just him. No do gooder Andrew. No overly protective Jeanine. Just the two of them with a ‘dead’ wife and a wife that is so distant she may as well be dead. 

She snatches them out of his hand, glaring at him. “I don’t know what you find so amusing. I would wipe that grin off of your face if I was you Mr Eaton.” she spits, venom lacing her tone. She can’t stand being near him.

“Have a drink with me.” Marcus says.

“What?” 

“Have a drink with me.” he repeats. 

“Why would I?”

“Because you need someone to talk to and I need a drinking buddy.” Marcus retrieves a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. “So?” 

“You aren’t meant to drink.” Darcy says, pointing out the obvious. She isn’t sure why she does this. When has he ever followed the rules?

“And?” Marcus is grinning even more now and Darcy is finding it so incredibly insufferable. She snatches the bottle and a glass from him, pouring a large amount of the liquid in. She knocks it back.

“Happy?” 

He shakes his head, taking the bottle back and pouring more into her glass.

The two end up sitting at the table, the small lightbulb acting as their only source of light at 7pm. 

“You are so annoying. I really hope you know that.” Darcy says, pointing at Marcus and slightly slurring her words.

“I do.” 

“Good.” 

They go back into silence for another ten minutes.

“Ok, my turn to make sure you know something.” Marcus breaks the silence. Darcy looks at him, slightly intrigued despite her clouding mind. “Jeanine isn’t worth it. She doesn’t deserve you Darcy.”

“I know.” Darcy shocks herself. Is that really what she thinks? 

He arches a brow. “You agree?”

She shrugs. “I love her. She makes me happy. She also makes me angry.”

“Hm.” Marcus takes a sip of his drink, eyeing her closely. 

They have another glass in silence.

“I do love her.” 

“I know.” 

Another glass.

Marcus is now sat next to Darcy, his hand riskilly running up and down her leg. Darcy doesn’t push him away. At first she tenses up, but then she finds it oddly relaxing. At first she remembers Jeanine, how she used to do this to calm her down. But then that goes away. She pushes the thought away until it is so far away that Jeanine might have never existed.

Marcus leans in closer, close enough for Darcy to feel his hot breath on her face. His lips graze against her’s. An alarm sounds in Darcy’s mind, but she doesn't listen. She places her lips in his. She can feel Mracus smirk as he kisses back. He got what he wanted. 

The next events are events that Darcy will regret forever. They will shatter her wife and her marriage and everything she has ever known, including her view of herself.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so many chapters that I have never posted so I will be updating quite a bit for a short while.

Darcy gazes at Jeanine. Jeanine is captivated by a book open in her hands, she is staring intently at it, her eyes wide and taking everything in. Jeanine has never lost that youthful look that children get when they discover something new. She is just as, if not more, curious as she was as a child. It’s one of the things that Darcy loves about her. This makes her feel guilty.

It’s almost two months since what happened between her and Marcus and she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it. She hasn't been able to stop feeling incredibly guilty about it. She slept with her wife’s worst enemy. Not only that, but Marcus actively speaks up against same-sex couples. He doesn’t view her and Jeanine has a real couple. He doesn’t see them as equal to others. The two have always counted themselves lucky for being in Erudite where their marriage is perfectly legal. Where they may get a few weird looks if they are seen together but nothing drastic will happen. They could be much worse off. They could be Abnegations. 

She takes her eyes away from Jeanine curled up on the sofa and walks towards the bathroom. She shuts the door behind her and holds back her tears. She can’t emerge looking like she has been crying. Jeanine will ask questions. She always does if Darcy looks off. She is very protective of Darcy when it comes to both others and what Darcy does to herself. 

She does what needs to be done almost mechanically. Almost exactly how Jeanine acts when she has been hurt to the point of emotional shutdown. Darcy hates to think about that since that’s probably what will happen if Jeanine ever finds out.

She walks back out and casually throws herself back down next to Jeanine. She has to appear normal.

“That’s the second month it’s not come.” Darcy says. She missed her period last month and this month it’s at least five days late. She is usually right on time so this is weird to both her and Jeanine.

“Maybe you are pregnant.” Jeanine jokes, immediately knowing what Darcy is talking about. 

The thought briefly crosses Darcy’s mind that she could be but she pushes it away. It’s incredibly unlikely. Surely the single time she has ever slept with a man can’t have gotten her pregnant. “Maybe.” Darcy forces herself to laugh, as if she too finds it ridiculous and impossible. It should be impossible. She shouldn’t have slept with Marcus. It’s not even like she enjoyed it, if anything it put her off flirting with men ever again. 

They spend the rest of the day playing chess. A game that Darcy hates but Jeanine loves. Since Darcy loves to see Jeanine so in her element, she pretends to enjoy it. She knows that, if she ever told Jeanine that she hates it, Jeanine would never play it again. She has no one else to play with and she would feel guilty about playing it with Darcy. 

The next morning, Darcy runs into the bathroom with her hand covering her mouth. She reaches the toilet just in time before she vomits.

Jeanine walks into the bathroom from the kitchen. She leans in the door frame with a cup of coffee in her hands. “Are you okay?” she asks. Darcy isn’t usually sick. 

Darcy wipes her mouth and looks up at her. “I’m fine.” she says weakly. She looks at Jeanine’s worried eyes and her heart melts. She looks so concerned. Jeanine has always been anxious when it comes to illness. “I really am fine Jean.” 

Jeanine shakes her head but whispers, “Okay.” 

They sit at the table, Jeanine clutching yet another cup of coffee and Darcy taking small sips of water. She feels too ill to eat.

“Maybe you really are pregnant.” Jeanine’s joking again, obviously, but it doesn’t sound like it. Of course she is joking because there should be no way that Darcy could be pregnant but maybe there is a small part of her that doesn’t know. She would never admit that aloud though. This time Darcy struggles even more to laugh. This is weird. She doesn’t get sick. She doesn't miss periods, they never come late. This is all wrong. “If it continues, we will have to go and see a doctor.” This is what makes Darcy truly anxious. What if Jeanine takes her to the doctors and she turns out pregnant? She has to know for herself. 

She goes to buy a pregnancy test during her lunch break. She tries to be as discreet as possible but the cashier still gives her a weird look. Everyone knows who she is. Why would she be buying a pregnancy test? She hopes that they assume that her and Jeanine are trying for a baby. That’s much better than an affair. 

When she gets home from work, she heads into the bathroom and immediately takes the test. Jeanine won’t be home for hours but she still finds herself on edge and worried that she will walk in at any minute as she waits for the results. 

She drums her fingers against the countertop of the sink and stares at the watch on her wrist. She has already waited five minutes, only five more minutes to go. She has placed the test on the side. She doesn’t look at it. She continues to look at her watch. 

Eventually, it’s time to look. Dread fills every part of her body as she picks up the test. Dread pushes her down to the floor when she sees the two lines. Positive. She is pregnant. She is pregnant with Marcus Eaton’s baby. She drops the test and collapses. 

When Jeanine comes home five hours later, Darcy is shocked back to consciousness. She scrambles out of the bathroom, completely forgetting about the test on the floor.


	16. Chapter 16

“Tell me this is a joke.” Jeanine slams the test down in front of Darcy, completely dismissing her usual concern for hygiene. 

Darcy jumps a little and then she remembers that forget to hide the test. She wants to hit herself. How could she have forgotten that? “It’s not a joke Jeanine.” Darcy decides to tell her the truth. What is the point in lying? Jeanine will find out at some point.

“W-What?” Jeanine shakes her head. “I don’t understand.” She had been joking. How can Darcy be pregnant?

“I’m so sorry.” Tears are accumulating in Darcy’s apologetic eyes now. She wants to cry but that won’t make it any better. If anything, it will only anger Jeanine more.

“How?” Jeanine’s voice is barely a whisper. A part of her doesn’t want to know.

“Marcus.” Darcy whispers. Jeanine’s eyes widen. “It was a huge mistake.” Darcy reaches out to grab Jeanine’s hand but Jeanine snatches it back. She can barely look at her; she certainly doesn’t want her touching her. “Please Jean.” Darcy begs for her to look at her, to hear her out. 

Jeanine’s shaking her head alarmingly viciously now, every part of her shaking. “No. I don’t want to hear it, Darcy.” She wipes tears from her eyes before walking out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. 

Darcy watches her leave, feeling incredibly helpless and regretful. When she is sure that Jeanine is gone, she breaks down. 

She reaches for her phone and presses Miranda’s contact. “I’ve made a huge mistake.” she sobs.

“Darcy? What have you done?” Miranda puts down her book and stands. 

“I’m pregnant.” That is all Dacy has to say before the line goes dead. Miranda grabs her coat and shoes and runs to Darcy’s apartment.

Five minutes later, Darcy hears a knock at the door. She wipes her eyes but tears continue to fall. It doesn’t matter. She answers the door anyway. 

Miranda shoots through the door and engulfs Darcy in a tight hug. “What happened?” she asks, rubbing her back. “You can tell me.”

Darcy shuts the door before wrapping her arms around Miranda and sobbing into her shoulder. Miranda waits until Darcy has calmed down to say anything more. 

A few minutes later, Dacy pulls back. She walks over to the sofa, Miranda following. She takes a tissue from the coffee table and wipes her eyes and nose. She collects herself before telling her. “I slept with Marcus Eaton and I’m pregnant with his baby.”

Miranda’s mouth falls open and she has to physically close it with her own hand. “You… Wow… Okay… Does Jeanine know?”

She nods. “She just found out. She found the pregnancy test.”

Miranda shakes her head. “Oh Darcy. What are you going to do?”

“Raise the baby.” Darcy is shocked by how confidently she said that. She always wanted a baby, but she always wanted a baby with Jeanine. Not with Marcus Eaton. Not on her own. Is this baby really worth more to her than her wife? Darcy wonders how much longer she will even be able to call Jeanine her wife for. Surely Jeanine will be filing for divorce soon?

“If that’s what you really want, then I will be here for you.” 

“Thanks Miranda.” 

The next day, Darcy moves in with Miranda for a while. Miranda’s husband is often working so he doesn’t really care. She sends Jeanine a message to tell her that she can have the apartment. She made a mistake. Jeanine shouldn’t be the one that ends up homeless because of it.

“So, you are pregnant and it’s Marcus Eaton’s baby?” Carl asks for confirmation. Miranda has told him the story but he is finding it all very hard to believe. His wife is quite the gossiper so he has learnt to take everything she says with a pinch of salt.

Darcy nods, taking a sip of decaffeinated coffee. “That’s correct. Obviously you really can’t say anything though.”

“I would never. Wouldn’t want Jeanine to murder me.”

Darcy smiles a little but it’s sad. Everytime she thinks about Jeanine she feels regretful. They haven’t said anything publicly yet and maybe that will always be the case. It’s Jeanine’s choice, not hers. It’s Jeanine that would be ruined because of it, not her. 

Hours later, back in Darcy's old apartment, Jeanine makes a mistake that she will regret almost as much as Darcy. 

It’s her that makes the first move. She is too intoxicated to think straight, a bit like Darcy that night. Erin knows that Harvey will be crushed if he finds out but she can’t help herself. 

Jeanine does feel bad; she is aware of the hold that she has over Erin. She is aware that she has a boyfriend. It doesn’t stop her though. 

That night, they make a huge mistake.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More sensitive topics are spoken about in this chapter, please refer to tags.

The night with Erin was only the beginning of Jeanine’s incredibly bad decisions. Alcohol becomes the only thing that can get her through days and it becomes increasingly harder to hide her growing problem at work. 

No one comments on how Jeanine no longer wears her wedding ring. No one comments on how she always has a headache or has found it harder to focus these past few months. They all know there is something going on. They all know that nothing good will come out of mentioning it.

Jeanine almost breaks her neck when she slips over an empty bottle of vodka on the floor of her office. She looks at the watch on her wrist to see that it is already 6pm. That’s late enough. She gets back up, ignoring the throbbing pain in her knee, and walks over to the drawer under her desk. She unlocks it with the key in her bag and pulls out a new bottle. 

She knows she shouldn’t. She knows that the old Jeanine is screaming at her to stop. But she can’t stop. She downs far too much of the bottle to be healthy. She lets out tears when she sees the red marks and scars on her arm and drinks even more. 

She just wants to stop feeling. So many p eople believe that she can’t feel. She wishes that was true. She wishes that she had never fallen in love. She wishes that she wasn’t human.

Her heart feels heavy and so does her head as she inevitably passes out on her desk. 

That’s how Erin finds her the next morning. She takes her home, Jeanine barely conscious. Erin wants to cry seeing her like this. She doesn’t even know why seeing her so helpless makes her feel even more helpless. Perhaps it’s a good thing, it means she doesn’t find power out of others’ weaknesses. 

“I’m going to run you a bath. Okay?” Erin doesn’t even really know if Jeanine can hear her. How she can be so affected by it the day after is beyond her. 

Jeanine can barely focus but she can hear enough to nod slightly. Erin is extremely relieved that Jeanine can hear her. She smiles slightly. 

It’s a challenge but, eventually, Erin manages to get Jeanine into the bath. The water is quite cold in an attempt to bring her back to reality. 

Erin leaves her alone, a rather poor decision on her part.

She comes back to check on Jeanine ten minutes later. She knocks on the door. “Jeanine?” She gets no response. She didn’t earlier so she doesn’t think too much of it. That is until a sudden thought comes into her mind. She pushes the door open and is incredibly glad when she sees what Jeanine is attempting to do. 

She rushes over and pulls Jeanine up. Her head is fully immersed in the water and she is coughing and spluttering when Erin helps her out. It’s at that point that Erin can no longer hold back her tears. She knew that Jeanine was bad but she thought that this was behind her. 

Erin has ‘saved’ Jeanine’s life before. Jeanine had called her after taking all of her antidepressants. Erin rushed her to the hospital and they managed to save her. The doctors had told her that if she had taken ten minutes longer, she would have been dead. She would have died at eighteen.

She wraps a towel around her and they move to Jeanine’s bedroom. She sits her down on the bed and gets her dressed to the best of her ability. When she is in her pyjamas, Erin wraps a blanket around her and sits down beside her on the bed. 

“I’m sorry.” Jeanine speaks for the first time today. Her voice is quiet, strangled even. She tugs at the blanket wrapped around her and tries to blink back her tears. The attempt is futile and she ends up sobbing uncontrollably.

“You don’t need to apologise.” Erin pulls her close to her, rubbing her side. “I just want to help you Jeanine.” 

Jeanine shakes her head. “I’m beyond help.” 

“No you’re not.” Erin refuses to believe that. She has to believe that she can save Jeanine. She doesn’t know what she would do without her. If she lost her, she would lose herself. Her whole career she has been Jeanine assistant, but more importantly she has been her best friend. “Do you want to talk about what just happened?” she asks. They can’t just ignore it and she knows that, the longer she leaves it, the more likely Jeanine is to try and get out of ever talking about it.

“I wasn’t trying to kill myself.” Jeanine whispers. “I just didn’t care if I died.” 

Erin nods. “Okay… Well you know that I would care if you died, right?” 

“Would you?” 

“Yes Jeanine, of course I would.” 

-

Jeanine gets worse again. She doesn’t try to take her life again and refuses to recognise that it even happened, but the drinking gets much worse. 

Erin is incredibly worried. She tried to speak to her about going to an AA meeting once but Jeanine insisted that she didn’t have a problem and nothing more has been said on the matter. 

“Darcy would be seven months now.” 

Erin’s head snaps up from the files in her lap. She looks at Jeanine on the other side of her desk. “How do you know?”

“I have contacts.” 

Erin sighs. She should have known that Jeanine would keep torturing herself. She has to know what Darcy is doing. She still loves her. She still cares about her. No matter what happened between Erin and her a couple of months ago. Harvey still doesn’t know about that and Erin fully intends for it to remain like that. 

“You need to stop torturing yourself.” Erin says, closing the file. “It’s not going to help.”

“I’m not torturing myself.” Jeanine mutters, unscrewing the lid of her flask. She takes a sip.

“Is that alcohol?” Erin asks, she can smell it from where she is sat. She can always smell alcohol now. Jeanine reaks of it. 

Jeanine shakes her head but Erin isn’t convinced. She leans over and takes the bottle from Jeanine’s slightly shaky hands. She takes a sip and sighs. 

“It’s not what you think.” Jeanine tries.

“What is it then Jeanine?!” Erin’s voice is raised, causing Jeanine to cry. “Don’t cry.” Erin softens her voice, guilt rushing over her.

“I’m not crying.” Jeanine forces out, sniffling.

“You are,” Erin stands and walks around to Jeanine’s side of the desk. “And that’s okay. You know that right? It’s okay to cry.”

“Not at that.” Jeanine sobs. 

Erin strokes Jeanine’s hair as Jeanine clings onto her. She hates how she can smell the alcohol. She hates how fragile Jeanine is.

Jeanine goes to an AA meeting a couple of  
days later. For Erin more than for herself. Erin takes her and waits outside but she knows that it’s not for her when she sees her exit. She is completely void of emotion, completely shut down. It was stupid to assume that Jeanine could open up to total strangers.

Erin doesn’t make her go back but she does decide that they need to find another way. She begins checking any bottles that Jeanine brings into work but she is fully aware that Jeanine still drinks at home.

-

Darcy gets a call that makes her heart race. She drops the phone and slips her shoes on as quickly as possible.

“What’s wrong?” Miranda asks, seeing how distressed she is.

“Jeanine’s in the hospital.” Darcy grabs her bag and coat and runs out of the door.

Miranda follows her. She drives her to the hospital.

“So you are still her emergency contact?” 

Darcy nods. “I guess so.”

“Some hope then.” Miranda says, coming to a halt. 

“Maybe.” 

Miranda helps Darcy out of the car, she finds it too difficult on her own now. Miranda waits in the car as Darcy enters the hospital.

“Jeanine Matthews?” she asks the receptionist.

The receptionist looks up from her laptop, gawking slightly at the sight of how obviously pregnant Darcy is. “5B.” she just about manages to say.

Darcy pulls her coat over her stomach, partly out of awkwardness and partly because she doesn’t really want Jeanine to see that she is pregnant. She only briefly got told what happened but she knows that it was to do with alcohol. She finally sent Jeanine off the rails and she doesn’t want to make it even worse.

She slips through the door, closing it behind her. “Jeanine?” She sees her and immediately feels horrible. “I’m so sorry.” she whispers, walking over to her. She drags a chair over and sits down next to her.

Jeanine looks weak, really weak. She slowly turns to look at Darcy. “You came.” she says weakly. 

Darcy nods and takes her hand. “Yeah Jeanine, I came.”

Jeanine smiles a little. “Thank you.” Darcy wipes away tears and smiles. She was afraid that Jeanine would push her away. Her coat begins to slip away and she quickly moves to cover her stomach back up. “I know you’re pregnant Dars,” Jeanine whispers, her voice strained. “You don’t have to hide it.”

“I feel bad.” Darcy murmurs.

Jeanine nods, she knows that she is talking about more than being visibly pregnant. “I know.” 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

“I know you are.” Jeanine squeezes Darcy’s hand. “Do you want to tell me what really happened?” 

“You would listen?” Darcy can’t believe that Jeanine is giving her this opportunity. She almost doesn’t believe that she deserves it. Jeanine is obviously on some sort of drugs, she is so much more relaxed than Darcy has ever seen her. It’s now or never. 

“Well it’s not like I can go anywhere.” Jeanine chuckles.

Darcy smiles. “Okay.” She begins to collect herself, she can’t mess this up. “What happened with Marcus was a mistake. He got me drunk and he completely disarmed me. I wanted anyone’s touch. I regretted it immediately. When I found out I was pregnant I really didn’t know what to do. I certainly didn’t want you to find out the way you did.” 

“I didn’t want to find out that way either.”

“No… Do you hate me?” It’s a risky question, Darcy knows this. The answer could be yes. The answer could be no but followed with a ‘but’. There is such a high chance that she won’t like the answer. She is pleasantly surprised by the response she gets.

“No Darcy.” 

Darcy waits for the ‘but’, but it never comes. Jeanine doesn’t hate her. A wave of relief washes over her. “Really?” she gives Jeanine a chance to change her mind. “I mean you are on a lot of drugs.”

“I don’t hate you. I don’t think I can hate you. I have loved you for so long Darcy, I don’t think I would know how to hate you.” 

A tear escapes Darcy’s eyes and Jeanine wipes it away. It’s difficult for her, Darcy can see that, but that one gesture at her weakest point means more to Darcy than anything else. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Darcy turns Jeanine’s question around on her. She needs to know how Jeanine ended up in this state and she knows that she probably won’t like the answer.

“It’s no big deal, nothing for you to worry about.” Jeanine mutters, turning onto her back and looking at the ceiling. 

“It is a big deal Jean. Tell me what happened.” Darcy insists. 

“I just had too much to drink last night, that’s all.” Jeanine hopes it will be the end of the conversation even though she is sure that it won’t be.

“That’s not all Jeanine. You have been like this for a while, haven’t you?” Darcy should have known that this would happen. Jeanine has always had too much to drink. She has always turned to it when she is sad. She has never been fully dependent on it before. “Do you need help?” 

Jeanine shakes her head, still refusing to look at Darcy. “Erin is helping.”

“Well it doesn’t seem like she is doing a very good job of it.” Darcy regrets what she said when she hears how rude it sounded in her head. “I’m sorry.”

Jeanine rolls back over to look at her. “I’m fine.” 

Erin walks in. “Jeanine?” She stops in her tracks when she sees Darcy. “Oh, hello Darcy.” 

Darcy hasn’t seen Erin since she found out that she kissed Jeanine. The start of one of their many problems. She should hate her but she knows that she is trying to take care of Jeanine and that’s enough for her to forgive her. “Hello Erin.” She attempts a smile. “I was just leaving.” She stands and places a small kiss on Jeanine’s forehead. “You know how to contact me.” she whispers. Then she leaves. She leaves and hopes that Erin can deal with this.

Jeanine watches as she walks away. She yearns for her to stay but she also knows that it’s for the best. Her and Erin still can’t be in the same room at the moment. Just like how she will struggle to ever see Marcus again. She has struggled being in the same room with him for her whole life. He is judgemental, rude and has a huge superiority complex. They have always hated each other, but now he has extra ammo. Jeanine knows that he will make some comment about how Darcy needed a man in her life. The mere thought of Marcus makes Jeanine want to drink herself into a coma. 

“We need to do something about this Jeanine.” Erin says, snapping Jeanine out of her thoughts.

“I know.”


	18. Chapter 18

Neither Jeanine nor Erin knows how it gets out. All Jeanine knows is that it makes her want to drink and Erin knows that she would drink if Jeanine wasn’t sitting right next to her. 

“Jeanine Matthews may not be as good for Erudite as you may think,” Erin reads aloud. “Continue reading to find out how we discovered that the Erudite leader is an alcoholic.” 

The article is written by Candor with the assistance of Abnegations, probably Marcus. Erin suggests that they could claim that it’s slander but Jeanine knows that that’s not true. They haven’t lied. It’s just an invasion of her privacy.

“I really have no luck at the moment.” Jeanine murmurs. She wants to drink, she really does, but she knows that she can’t. It will only cause another article to be written about her. 

“You don’t.” Erin stands and begins to pace the room. “What do you want to do?” 

“What are my options?” 

Erin sighs. “You own up to it.” It’s a stupid idea on paper, Erin knows this, but it might just work. If Jeanine can address people, if Jeanine can address people sober, and tell them what she is going through, she could educate people. She could tell people the awful effects of alcoholism and maybe win a few brownie points with the common public.

“What? Tell everyone that I am a raging alcoholic because of my sob story of a life and then my wife fucked Marcus Eaton and is now pregnant with his child?” 

“Well maybe just the alcoholic bit…” 

-

Miranda throws the newspaper down on the kitchen table. 

Carl picks it up and reads the headline. “Fuck.” he mutters. He passes it to Darcy.

“Oh shit!” 

Miranda nods, folding her arms over her chest and leaning on the kitchen counter. “It’s not great.” She had heard people talking about it at the coffee shop she went to to get breakfast and picked up a paper on the way home. “Everyone is gossiping about it.” 

“This is all my fault.” Darcy wants to hit herself and she wants to hit the reporters. She wants to kill Marcus. How could this have happened? How could she have been such an idiot? She was in love, she is still in love. She is in love with Jeanine and she promised to love her. She promised to love her for as long as they both shall live. So why does it seem like she is breaking that promise? Why has she left Jeanine to feel so alone? 

She remembers when she promised that she would never leave her alone. She remembers it so vividly. 

*flashback* 

“Jeanine?” Darcy knocks on Jeanine’s door. 

“It’s open!” she hears Jeanine shout from within.

She puts her hand on the handle of the door and pushes it open, her hand shaking and her breath slightly rapid. She walks in to see Jeanine hunched over her laptop and at least ten books sprawled around her on the floor. 

“You’re going to kill your back.” she comments, closing the door behind her. She walks over to Jeanine, leaning down and giving her a kiss on the cheek in greeting.

“I have to get this done.” Jeanine mutters, barely even looking at Darcy. Norton asked her to do some research for a new serum and she doesn’t want to mess it up. Cara had said that she would do some of the work but Jeanine is too much of a perfectionist.

“Don’t you have the rest of the week to do that?” Darcy asks, sitting down next to her and almost sitting right on the corner of a book. “Can’t you spend some time with your girlfriend tonight?” 

Jeanine looks at her, her eyes apologetic. “I’m sorry.” She closes her laptop with finality. “You’re right.” She leans over a book and gives Darcy a chaste kiss. “What do you want to do?” 

“I was thinking that we could go for a walk.” Darcy suggests as though it doesn’t matter to her what they do. It does. She has a plan. A plan that will probably cause Jeanine to massively freak out on her. She tries to ignore that thought.

Jeanine groans but gives in. “Fine.” She always says no to any sort of exercise with Darcy. It’s simply not her thing. She always used to try and think of excuses to not do PE in school. That was for two other reasons though as well. She could never understand the self-confidence that some of the other girls had, they all walked around half naked without any thought. Jeanine was always much shyer than that, much shyer. She had absolutely no desire to get changed in front of anyone. The second reason came about a little later in her school experience. She wasn’t very welcome around other girls when everyone found out about her sexuality, especially not when they were getting changed. You could argue that these reasons resulted in Jeanine being one of the most unfit people you will ever meet. 

Darcy on the other hand adores physical activities. She loves to be outside and she loves to feel the wind on her. It’s the Dauntless upbringing. It’s a shame to her that Jeanine hates it so much but at least there is one type of physical activity that she is okay with. 

Jeanine packs everything away before grabbing her coat, it’s freezing outside, and putting her shoes on. Darcy never took either off and continues to play with the box in her pocket. The two leave and make their way down to the ground floor quick enough.

“It’s fucking freezing!” Jeanine exclaims as soon as the winter air hits her. 

Darcy laughs. “I think it's refreshing.” 

Jeanine rolls her eyes. “Of course you do.” 

Darcy smiles. There is something so oddly pleasing to her about how different her and Jeanine are. A lot of it could be put down to them growing up in different factions but that isn’t just it. Jeanine is unique, someone not like anyone Darcy has ever met before. She is driven and determined. Smart and caring in her own way. She always pushed Darcy to do better, to work harder, and she always makes sure that Jeanine doesn’t work herself to death. 

They walk for about half an hour before Darcy decides that she likes where they are. They halt to a stop and Darcy takes both of Jeanine’s hands. She pushes down any fear. 

“Jeanine, I would hope that you know that I love you more than anyone I have ever met.” She begins.

Jeanine crooks her neck to the side in question. “I love you too. What are you doing?” 

“Just let me do this. Please?” 

Jeanine nods, still confused. “Okay.” 

“Okay.” Darcy nods. “You are the most important person in my life. You matter to me more than anything in this world and I would do literally anything for you. These past ten years have been the happiest of my life and I hope that I get to have ten more, and then hopefully ten more after that. You have somehow found a way to make me belong totally to you. The most stunning woman in the world could walk down the street and I wouldn’t even turn my head, because I already have her. I want to belong to you forever and always be there. I want to never leave your side. And because of that,” Darcy takes the box out of her pocket. Jeanine’s eyes widen larger than Darcy ever thought possible as she realises what is happening. Darcy gets down on one knee and opens the box to reveal a beautiful diamond engagement ring. “Jeanine Matthews, will you marry me?” 

“Is this serious?” Jeanine whispers. She wants nothing more than for it to be real but she is still so afraid. She is still so afraid that Darcy will leave her just like everyone else. What if this is all some sick joke?

Darcy’s heart hurts a little when Jeanine asks that. She hates that Jeanine feels the need to ask that. She nods. “Of course it is.” She sees how apprehensive Jeanine still looks. “I promise.” 

Jeanine breaks out into a bright smile and she nods. “Yes!” She exclaims.

Darcy grins. “Yes?” she double checks.

Jeanine nods. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” A thousand times yes!” Jeanine had never imagined herself getting married but now it’s all she wants. 

Darcy slips the ring onto Jeanine’s finger. She briefly watches how it shines in the moonlight before Jeanine pulls her up for a searing kiss. Darcy grips onto her tightly, deepening the kiss and causing Jeanine to throw her legs around her waist. Darcy lifts her up. When they finally break apart. Darcy is still holding onto her and they are at an equal height. She is struck by just how beautiful Jeanine’s eyes are for the umpteenth time and she nudges a piece of blonde hair away from them with her nose.

“I love you.” Darcy whispers.

“I love you too.” 

-

It takes them a little over a year to get married, Jeanine is too much of a perfectionist for anything to be done quickly. She also is a workaholic and didn’t have too many free dates. Darcy is working at the school so they had to make sure to choose a date in the school holidays. The two moved in together during the year. 

Miranda sits on the edge of her bed, looking at Darcy from across the room. “You look beautiful.” she says. She stands and helps her secure the veil to her head. “Are you sure that this is what you want?” she asks, smoothing it down at the back. 

Darcy nods. “More than anything.” 

Miranda smiles, she has never seen Darcy so sure of something before. Everyone knows who Jeanine is, including Miranda, and no one would have ever imagined her with Darcy. It’s refreshing to Miranda to see such a couple together. They don’t seem like they should work, but they really do. 

Carl comes to the door and looks in. “Wow.” he mutters.

Darcy turns around. “You like it?” 

“Definitely.” He nods. 

Darcy is wearing an aqua blue dress with a portrait back and a skirt that comes out at her hips, stopping just below her ankles. It was a decision that her and Miranda made together. Her hair is pinned back and a lace veil covers the back of it. She doesn’t bother covering her face with it, there is no point pretending like either her or Jeanine are pure. 

It’s not quite as calm in Erin’s apartment. Jeanine is never calm in all fairness but today she is even worse than normal.

Erin catches Jeanine’s hands in her own and forces her to look at her. “Everything is okay,” she says. “You need to calm down.” She moves a strand of Jeanine’s hair behind her ear, she pushes any sense of attraction away. This day will be hard for her but she has to be happy for her friend. “You look gorgeous.” 

Jeanine blushes. “You really think so?” 

Erin nods. She sighs and squeezes Jeanine’s hands. “So, are you ready to spend the rest of your life with this woman?” She forces down any hope that the answer is no, she doesn’t like herself thinking like this. 

Jeanine nods, smiling. “Yeah… Yeah, I really am actually.” 

Erin forces herself to smile. “Then let’s do this.” 

Jeanine smooths down her dress and nods. She is wearing a dress of the exact same length as Darcy, only her’s is slightly darker, It also doesn’t have an open back since that is something that she is way too self-conscious about. Erin did manage to convince her to have a low cut V-neck though so that’s something. That’s some sort of progress towards self confidence, something that Darcy works hard to give her. 

When Jeanine arrives at the venue, Darcy is already there but she can’t see her yet. She sees Norton standing by the entrance, he hasn’t gone and sat down with the very small number of people that they have invited.

When he spots Jeanine and Erin, he walks over to them. “Leave.” he snaps at Erin who scurries away immediately. She may be Jeanine’s assistant but Jeanine works for Norton so she works for Norton.

“Did you really have to be so rude?” Jeanine asks. She is becoming more and more tired of Norton’s antics. It’s a good thing that he will die in a year really. 

“Yes I did actually.” Norton’s voice is still harsh, he is clearly angry about something. “Look Jeanine, I let you mess around with this girl but do you really want to dedicate your whole life to her? She isn’t good for you Jeanine. She is too unruly. And do you really think that the future leader of Erudite should be married to not only a woman but a Dauntless born? It doesn’t look good Jeanine and you know this.” 

Jeanine sighs, she has enough of his controlling behaviour. “Quite frankly, I don’t care how it looks, Norton. I love Darcy and she makes me a much better person, I need someone to keep me sane when I have to work for someone as insufferable as you. I’m not afraid of you anymore, you don’t control me anymore. So you can either stay and watch us get married or leave and I am sure that you will be able to read about it in the newspapers tomorrow, where it won’t ‘look good’.” She walks over to Erin, leaving Norton stunned.

“What was that about?” Erin asks.

“Oh, it was nothing.” 

Erin eyes her suspiciously, she knows what Norton can be like. She knows that Norton has never approved of Darcy and she also knows that Norton has never accepted Jeanine. He might pretend to, he might not spit slurs at her or revoke her rights, but he does see her as a let down and embarrassment to Erudite.

“Okay.” Erin decides not to press. “Well Darcy will be walking down the aisle in a minute and then, well, it’s you.” 

Jeanine nods. “Okay. Let’s go.” She extends her arm out to Erin and Erin takes it.

Erin forces Jeanine to look away as Darcy walks down the aisle. 

“Why can’t I look?” Jeanine whines. 

“You can in a minute.” 

Jeanine huffs but doesn’t fight it. She doesn’t believe in the traditions that so many others do, if she is honest, she doesn’t understand them. Most ‘normal’ things that she does, she does for others. She does it for Darcy. Darcy has never asked her to though; maybe that’s why she does it. 

“It’s your turn.” Erin whispers, spinning Jeanine around. Jeanine looks around the doorframe and looks at the room. Norton clearly decided to stay and watch. There aren’t many people in there but it’s still too many for Jeanine to handle. 

“I’m scared.” Jeanine admits.

“Why?” 

“What if I mess this up?” she asks shyly.

“You won’t,” she picks up the two bouquets of the side and thrusts one into Jeanine’s hands. “Now go.” 

Both Jeanine and Darcy decided to walk themselves down the aisle. Jeanine’s parents are dead but she supposes that she could have asked Norton. She is not sure if he would have agreed though. Darcy’s parents are in another faction so they can’t. Besides, neither of them believe in the whole father giving his daughter away thing. It’s too patriarchal for them. 

Jeanine puts one foot in front of the other, shakily. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, opens them again and then walks. She just walks, ignoring everyone around her. 

Erin follows closely behind, trying to contain herself and be happy about what’s about to happen. It’s too late, she’s going to be married. 

Jeanine and Darcy lock eyes, both having their breath taken away by the other’s beauty. Jeanine smiles a little before coming to a halt. 

Darcy takes hold of Jeanine’s hands and pulls her close to her. 

“Hey.” Darcy whispers.

“Hey.” Jeanine echoes.

Darcy can feel Jeanine’s hands shaking. “It’s okay. It’s all okay.”

Jeanine takes a deep breath again. ”Yeah, it is.” 

The officiate begins and the two exchange vows. They didn’t write their own, they didn’t want to say such meaningful things in front of others. It’s too much for Jeanine. Darcy knows that it’s too much to ask. She doesn’t need anything from Jeanine but herself, she wouldn’t ask her to do something that makes her so uncomfortable. 

When they put the rings on each other, Jeanine can feel how clammy Darcy’s hands are. It oddly relaxes her. She is relaxed by the fact that Darcy is also nervous, that it’s not just her. 

Erin forces herself to clap and cheer when they kiss. She is happy for them. She is. 

They don’t really have a reception, Jeanine sees them as pointless. They have Erin and Miranda back for drinks and cake and then they are left alone. 

“I can’t believe I am married to you.” Darcy says in awe, her arms wrapped around Jeanine as they have their ‘first dance’ as a married couple. It’s a silly tradition, another one Jeanine doesn’t buy into, but Darcy wanted to do it. They compromised. They do it in private, just the two of them.

“Believe it.” Jeanine replies, pulling her closer. 

“You know,” Darcy spins Jeanine around, causing her new wife to giggle. “We are supposed to consummate the marriage tonight, finally give up our purity and cast away our chastity.”

Jeanine laughs. “I thought we did that in the janitor’s closet during initiation.” 

“We both know that we both did it before that.” 

“Shhh!” Jeanine grins. “We don’t speak of that.”

“Whatttt? Tori Wu?” Darcy is struggling not to laugh at Jeanine’s face.

“Mhm. As I said, we don’t speak of that.”

“Probably for the best.” Darcy agrees. 

Jeanine moves a strand of dark hair out of Darcy’s eyes. “Maybe we should do it now.” 

Darcy smirks. “Maybe.” She leans in and kisses Jeanine as the song comes to an end.


	19. Chapter 19

“I’m sorry.” Dearing blurts out, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.

“Pardon?” Jeanine asks, confused at what she could be apologising for.

“I’m sorry that my parents helped write that article about you. Is that not what this is about?” 

Jeanine shakes her head. “No… I just wanted to say how you were doing at home… Your parents helped write the article?” 

Dearing nods. “Yes… Why would you ask about my home life?”

“Well you know that I am,” Jeanine swallows, people don’t know about her and Darcy’s problems. “Married to Mrs Matthews and she spoke to me about you. She was worried. I can help you if you need help.”

“Are you having a baby?” Dearing asks.

That stops Jeanine in her tracks. What does she say to that? Play it cool. “You know that Darcy is pregnant then?”

“The whole school does.”

“The whole school does.” Jeanine mutters. “Of course they do.”

“Well it’s quite hard to hide.”

“True…” Just change the subject. If Jeanine changes the subject, she neither has to confirm nor deny whether she will be raising the child. She doesn’t even really know herself anymore. She still loves her. Does she really love her enough to raise Marcus Eaton’s child? “So your parents really helped write that… Why?” 

Dearing shrugs. “I think Marcus might have asked them to help. I don’t know for sure though… They just don’t like you if I’m honest.”

“Yes I can imagine they don’t.” 

“Is it true though? Are you really an alcoholic?” 

Jeanine laughs a little at the girl’s bluntness. “I don’t know.” She does know, she just can’t accept it. 

“Can I help you?” 

“You want to help me…?” She’s Abnegation, she is trained to say that, but there is something so sincere in Dearing’s voice. 

“You seem awfully distant Miss Matthews.” Dearing points out. “I would like to help you.”

“I just have a lot on my plate, that’s all. Thank you for offering to help though.” 

Dearing can tell that Jeanine isn’t going to give in easy, she has to find a way to get her to open up. “I have an idea.” she says, catching Jeanine’s slightly wavering attention. If she is honest, she has been thinking about standing up and getting the bottle of vodka that she keeps hidden behind a stack of books. Erin doesn’t let her anywhere near alcohol when she is near but she doesn’t know about this bottle. She is trying, she really is, but there is actually something somewhat comforting to Jeanine knowing that there is an option to drink even though she shouldn’t. She doesn’t feel as bad when she knows that it is there and she can be proud of herself for not drinking it. 

“Go ahead.” 

“There is one place that I find it easy to open up in. If you really want me to talk about my home life, we need to go there.” 

“Where’s that?” Jeanine asks, slightly intrigued. 

Dearing stands and extends her hand out of Jeanine to take. “You have to come with me and then you will find out.” 

Jeanine hesitates for a minute, she has a lot of work to do and she doesn’t like not knowing where she is going or what she is doing. However, there is something about the way this innocent ten year old is standing there, waiting for her to take her hand, that sparks something within her. She isn’t maternal, she never has been. She has always thought that she just wasn’t born with any sort of instincts to be a mother. What she doesn’t know is that they can be learnt, and that she will learn them. This is only the beginning, the first step. She stands, walks around to the other side of her desk, and takes her hand. “Okay, lead the way.” 

Dearing smiles and holds her hand tightly. She knows she shouldn’t, she knows that they are in different factions, but she can’t help but see Darcy as a mother figure. Perhaps she is beginning to see Jeanine like that too. She leads them out of Jeanine’s office, down the halls, out of the headquarters and inevitably to the school. 

Jeanine finds it incredibly hard to believe that the place that Dearing can open up is school. She always hated school. She never fit in. She only had one friend. Teachers disliked her, were jealous of her. She can’t really think of any place that was worse for her. But then she remembers that this is Dearing’s escape from home, from Abnegation. And then she can imagine a place worse than school, Abnegation. 

She lets Dearing guide her through the school, ignoring the students and teachers that look at the pair weirdly. It’s weird really, Abnegations and Erudites are meant to hate each other. Why would the Erudite leader be seen with an Abnegation child? 

Jeanine knows where they are going pretty soon. “We are going to Darcy’s classroom aren’t we?” 

Dearing nods, she doesn’t know that they are in a rough patch, she sees no problem with it. She thinks that they are so good that they are having a baby together and she thinks that they will be great parents. She knows that everyone in Abnegation would say the complete opposite, but she doesn’t agree. She pushes open the door and Jeanine is relieved when it is empty.

“It’s lunch time.” Dearing reminds her when she sees how relieved she is that it is empty. “You took me out during maths, thank you for that.” 

Jeanine laughs a little, she was never the biggest fan of maths either. “Your welcome.” She had come herself, she didn’t want to send someone to do it for her, and told the office to take Dearing out of her class and have her meet her outside the school. 

Dearing guides Jeanine further into the classroom, still maintaining a firm grip on Jeanine’s hand. She lets go of her hand when she reaches the hamster cage in the corner of the classroom. “He has become like a therapy hamster.” she whispers, sticking her fingers between the bars and gently touching his nose. He had jumped up when he saw her. “I know that you probably think that he is illogical,” She giggles a little when she feels him rub his nose up against her finger. “But he is really comforting to me. Mrs Matthews let’s me play with him whenever I want.” 

Jeanine bends down beside her and peers into the cage. She is glad that Darcy was right about the idea of having a pet in her classroom. She had thought the idea was terrible one at first but now she understands the thought process. “Does he have a name?” she asks.

Dearing nods. “George, but I call him Georgie.” She pauses for a minute and looks at Jeanine. “Can I get him out? Mrs Matthews said that I need adult supervision but you are an adult.” 

Jeanine shrugs. “I don’t see why not, as long as you know how to handle him.” 

Dearing grins. “I do.” 

“Okay then, get the hamster out.” 

Dearing gets him out completely on her own and handles him delicately. She holds him in one hand and gently pets him with the other, relaxed by the warmth of his fluff. She holds him out towards Jeanine with both hands. “Do you want to hold him?” 

Jeanine freezes, she has never touched an animal in her life. What if she hurts him? “Ummm.” 

“He won’t bite.” Dearing promises. 

“Okay…” Jeanine slowly reaches out and takes him from her, her hands shaking. 

“There we go.” Dearing says as the hamster begins to relax in Jeanine’s hands as she strokes him. 

“Can we talk about your home life now?” Jeanine asks, she is still fully unaware that this whole thing is for her to open up and be comforted for once. 

Dearing entertains her for a few minutes, telling her about how conservative her household is and how she is punished if she dos too well in school because they associate her with Erudite. How they hated it when she was still taught by Darcy because they can’t stand the thought of their daughter being near anyone that has anything to do with Jeanine Matthews. She tells Jeanine about her parents views of same-sex relationships and the time that she can’t be friends with a Dauntless girl anymore because her parents found out that she has two mums. Jeanine listens attentively, finding herself caring more and more about this Abnegation born as she goes on. She wishes that she could take her away from that place but it isn’t her place to.

Eventually, Dearing turns everything around on Jeanine. “So, tell me about how you are feeling?” 

Jeanine panics slightly, she doesn’t know how much to tell her. She knows about the drinking, she could at least try to tell her about that. But are her ears too young and innocent for that? Probably not, her parents have probably told her all about it. “I just struggle sometimes.” 

“With alcohol?” Dearing reaches out and pets Georgie in Jeanine’s hands.

“Yeah… I guess. I guess that I turn to it at my worst times and then I become dependent.” 

Dearing nods. “That can happen to people. No matter what Abnegation might say, that is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact the fact that you can admit it is something to be proud of.” 

“You really think?” 

“Yeah.” She looks up at the clock on the wall. “Lunch will be over soon. Maybe we could talk again?” 

Jeanine passes the hamster back to Dearing and watches her put him back in his cage. “Yeah, I would love that.” 

Darcy comes to the doorway but decides not to say anything yet, she doesn’t want to interrupt whatever is happening. She watches as Dearing hugs Jeanine, catching Jeanine incredibly off guard. Jeanine awkwardly rubs her back, unsure of what the right thing to do is. 

Dearing pulls back, smiling. She looks at the doorway and sees Darcy. “Mrs Matthews!” she exclaims.

Jeanine spots Darcy and tenses up a little. 

“Hey Dearing! Jeanine.” Darcy gives Jeanine a small nod and Jeanine does the same back.

Jeanine goes to leave but something that Dearing says makes her stop in her tracks. “You two are going to be such great parents.” 

That night, Jeanine ends up drinking again. She was sick, really sick. She hated herself. She felt ashamed. She called Darcy. 

Calling Darcy was definitely not what Jeanine had planned to do. Another thing that wasn’t planned was her agreeing to see her the day after the next.


	20. Chapter 20

“Are you sure that you are sober enough for this, Jeanine?” Marcus asks, smirking.

“I’m fine.” Jeanine sits down at the meeting room table and puts her notepad down in front of her. She places her hands in front of her on the table and stares at him. She pushes back the memories from two nights ago. She’s fine. She won’t do it again. “Completely sober.”

“Hmmm. Are you sure?” Marcus is baiting her, Jeanine is sure of it. “Your wife certainly wasn’t sober when she fucked me.” he mouths. Definitely baiting her. He wants her to relapse. 

“I’m sure.” 

It’s clear that nobody saw what he mouthed which is a huge relief to them both. 

“Are you feeling better?” Johanna asks. They were meant to have had this meeting yesterday but Jeanine had to ask to move it. She couldn’t do it, she still felt so ill. Seeing Marcus also makes her want to drink so the day after a relapse is not an ideal time to see him. 

“Yes, thank you for asking.” Her head still hurts but she often has headaches; she can do this today. 

“That’s good.” Jack says, eyeing her closely. “Wouldn’t want you off the rails.” 

Jeanine doesn’t respond, she doesn’t want to hear what he has to say. They all know that she has an issue, it doesn’t need to be discussed. 

They get through the meeting pretty event free. Marcus constantly makes comments but Jeanine just blocks them out. She isn’t going to relapse, she isn’t going to make a scene and lose her temper in front of everyone. She is seeing Darcy later and she has to be sober and presentable.

“It’s good to see you, Jeanine.” Darcy says, taking a sip of her tea.

“Likewise.” Jeanine wraps her hands around the warm coffee cup and taps it gently, she is too nervous.

“You look good and you sound a lot better than you did a couple of nights ago.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” 

“It’s more than okay,” Darcy reaches across the table and takes Jeanine’s hand in her own, to her surprise, Jeanine doesn’t jump back. “I’m just glad that you felt that you could contact me. I’m more than happy to be there for you throughout all of this.”

“Well, you are my wife Darcy.” It slips out. She didn’t mean to say that. Does she regret it though? Not nessecerally. She isn’t wrong, she is her wife, at least by law anyway. She can see that Darcy doesn’t know how to respond to that. She doesn’t know if Jeanine really means it. “You are my wife.” she repeats again to show that she meant it.

Dacy smiles. “Yeah?” 

Jeanine squeezes her hand. “Yeah.”

Darcy relaxes a little but she can’t stop the tears that begin to brim in her eyes. She is so full of regret. “I’m so sorry.” 

“You can’t keep apologising forever Darcy, what’s done is done.” Jeanine sighs, she knows that she is going to have to do something to help Darcy with her guilt. She shouldn’t have to, it is Darcy’s mistake, but she wants to. “I made mistakes too, the thing with Erin.” She thinks for a moment. Should she tell Darcy about what happened between her and Erin. At this point, it really can’t help. “You know, I kind of slept with Erin a few months ago.” 

“You what?!” Darcy exclaims, catching a few odd looks. “Sorry.” She lowers her voice. “I suppose I can’t judge you for that, after everything that has happened.” 

Jeanine nods. “And I am working on trying not to judge you.” 

“Really?” 

“What happened with Marcus was a mistake. I was distant, neglectful even. You were under the influence of alcohol, you weren’t thinking straight, we had just had an argument and we hadn’t seen each other again in person since it. I can see all of the factors that contributed to what happened, I am a psychologist after all.” 

“I still hurt you though.” Darcy sees the scars emerging from under Jeanine’s sleeve. “I really hurt you.” she whispers.

Jeanine pulls her hand back and tugs the sleeve back over the scars. “It’s nothing.” 

Darcy doesn’t press, she knows that it will make it worse, but she can’t help but feel awful. She launched Jeanine into so many harmful patterns. Self-harm, alcoholism and she doesn't even know about the attempted suicide. Jeanine knows that Darcy has caused this, but she also knows that Darcy may be the only one that can fix it. This only happened because she needs Darcy. Because she loves Darcy. Staying away from her may eventually make the pain go away, but it will also make her numb. She can live without Darcy, but she doesn’t want to. 

“How can I help you?” 

What Jeanine says next surprises her but she knows that she means it. “Be my wife.” 

“Y-You mean that?” Darcy can barely form a coherent sentence; she is so shocked. She thought that the relationship was totally over in Jeanine’s eyes. “I’m not giving up the baby Jeanine.” 

“I know.” Jeanine intertwines her and Darcy’s fingers again. “I also know that you always wanted us to have a baby.” 

Darcy can’t help the shocked noise that comes out of her mouth. She also can’t help the tears that now fall freely down her cheeks. She attracts attention, the last thing Jeanine wants, but neither of them care right now. Darcy leans across the table, almost hitting her large bump on the table. She throws her arms around Jeanine’s neck and kisses her. 

“I love you so much.” she says, wiping her tears away with a napkin and sitting back down properly on her chair.

“Just come home.”


	21. Chapter 21

“Jeanine!” Darcy shouts, incredibly panicked.

Jeanine runs into the living room. “What’s wrong?!” She leans against the doorframe, breathing heavily, she ran far too fast for her. 

“My waters just broke.” 

“You’re waters just…” Jeanine’s mind falters for a moment before it clicks. “Oh! Oh, okay!” Jeanine looks down at the floor and sees the puddle surrounding Darcy. “Fuck my life,” she mutters. It’s official, she is about to help her wife give birth to her worst enemy's child.

“I think I need to go to hospital.” 

“Yeah… Yeah, definitely.” Jeanine scratches her head, her mind failing her yet again. She has never felt more lost or useless in her whole life. “Well… You could go and get changed? I’ll get a towel for you to sit on in the car just in case… Yeah, we’ll do that.” 

“I’ll get my hospital bag.” Darcy says, slowly walking to their room. 

“You have a hospital bag… Of course you do!” Jeanine facepalms. “Fuck.” 

They somehow make it to the car without Jeanine malfunctioning or letting Darcy fall down the stairs (but let’s not talk about that). 

“I’m nervous.” Darcy says, holding onto her stomach and making a sound of pain when another contraction hits her, they are getting closer. 

“That makes two of us.” Jeanine murmurs, making a turn.

“We are going to have a baby though.” Darcy smiles, the thought of her child is going to be the only thought that gets her through this whole experience.

“Are you trying to make me more nervous?!” 

“I’m about to push a baby out of a very small hole Jeanine. The thought of a baby is going to be the only thing that gets me through this hell.” 

“Hey, you got pregnant and it sure as hell is not mine!” 

“Really? Who’s on Earth is it then?” Darcy says sarcastically.

They make it into the hospital with minimal casualties, the casualty being that Jeanine somehow managed to drop the hospital bag in a way that meant the entire contents were on the car park floor. 

A nurse directs them to a room and they wait. They wait for what feels like forever.

“I want this fucking baby out of me!” Darcy whines. “How long has it been since we got here?!”

Jeanine turns around and looks at the clock on the wall behind her. “Five hours.” 

“FIVE HOURS!” Darcy shouts.

“Yes…” Jeanine is quiet as she sinks into her seat, attempting to avoid Darcy’s wrath. She wants to help Darcy, she really does, she doesn’t like seeing her in pain but she doesn’t know how. She can’t really. It’s Darcy that has to do this.

It takes another ten hours of pain for the midwife to finally announce that Darcy is ready to start pushing. “Okay, I think we are ready to have this baby.”

“Oh thank God!” Darcy exclaims.

“Do you mind me asking how you two even had a baby in the first place?” the midwife asks, changing her gloves.

“YES!” they both shout in unison.

The midwife jumps back a little. “Okay… Sorry?” That’s definitely suspicious to her but, much to Jeanine and Darcy’s relief, she doesn’t press.

Jeanine takes Darcy’s hand, a selfless and regretful mistake on her part. At that, Darcy starts pushing, and screaming, but mostly pushing.

“Okay, one final push Darcy.” the midwife says. 

“You hear that?” Jeanine moves Darcy’s sweaty hair out of her eyes. “One final push; you’ve got this.” 

“I don’t know if I can do this.” Darcy whispers, extremely tired. This has been going in for too many hours, she is too exhausted.

“Yes you can.” Jeanine strokes Darcy’s hair. “I know you can. You have wanted this your whole life Darcy and now it had just fallen into your lap. I don’t believe in fate but this has got to mean something to you. This is your chance so come on. You can do this, just push.”

“Okay.” Darcy whispers. She looks at the midwife. “I’m ready.” 

The midwife nods. “Okay, then push.” 

Darcy pushes as hard as she can, she crushes Jeanine’s hand as hard as she can, and she doesn’t stop. She doesn’t stop until she hears cries. She flops back onto the hospital bed, her breathing heavy and irregular. Jeanine gets her hand back and attempts to get a feeling back into her fingers.

“It’s a boy!” the midwife announces. She wraps him in a blue blanket and passes him to Jeanine. 

Jeanine’s eyes widen as she sees the baby coming towards her, she has no idea how to hold a baby. She takes him awkwardly, attempting to get into the position that she sees so many other people hold a baby in. “Okay.” she whispers. “This isn’t so hard. Hello.” 

Darcy laughs weakly. “He’s a baby Jeanine, there is no need to be so formal.” 

Jeanine smiles and brings him closer to Darcy. “Can you take him?” Jeanine asks, she doesn’t know if Darcy is strong enough yet.

Darcy nods. “Definitely.” She takes the baby from Jeanine and wraps the blanket around him tighter. She plays with his little fingers and smiles. “He’s so adorable.” she gushes. 

“Yeah.” Jeanine whispers. “What are you going to call him?” 

“Aiden.” Darcy says immediately, it’s a surprise to her, she hadn’t planned a name, but it comes to her naturally and that’s the best way to name a child in her opinion.

Jeanine sits on the edge of the bed and looks closer at Aiden. “Hello Aiden, I’m going to be one of the women that try their hardest not to kill you.” 

Darcy laughs. “We’ll certainly try our hardest.” 

It’s now, in this very moment, looking at Darcy and Aiden that Jeanine realises that it doesn't matter how she ended up with a son. It doesn’t matter that he looks so remarkably like Marcus. People say that babies are meant to come out looking like their fathers so that they know it’s theirs and don’t leave but, somehow, he’s made Jeanine know that he is her’s. Marcus isn’t his father, he never will be, but she will be his mother no matter what. Darcy can tell this, she can see the way that her wife looks at their son, and she couldn’t be more happy about it.


	22. Chapter 22

Darcy places Aiden back down into his crib and climbs back into bed, turning her bedside light off. “That should keep him calm for at least an hour.” 

“Fingers crossed.” Jeanine mutters. “I'll do the next one if he cries again.”

“Thank you.” Darcy whispers, placing her head on Jeanine’s shoulder. “I can’t quite believe that we are now responsible for a baby.” 

“It doesn’t seem right, does it?” 

“No.” Darcy goes silent for a minute, letting her mind become consumed by thoughts. “We can’t fuck him up Jeanine.”

“We won’t.” 

“What if he turns out like those boys?” 

Jeanine groans, she knows exactly what boys Darcy is talking about. “He won’t Darcy. How would he? He has two women raising him.” 

“He might do it to fit in.” 

“Possibly.” They both know that Aiden is sure to get a few comments about his family. They both know that most Abnegations parents will ensure that their children stay away from him. They just both have to hope that Jeanine’s image will help to keep it moderate. 

“You’ll make sure no one hurts him… Right?” 

“Of course I will.” Jeanine looks at the baby now peacefully sleeping on the other side of the room. “I won’t let anything happen to him.” 

“I know you won’t.” Darcy yawns. “Maybe he will sleep through the rest of the night.”

Jeanine let’s out a shocked laugh and chokes. “That’s definitely wishful thinking.” 

-

“So, how’s the baby Jeanine?” Johanna asks excitedly. Jeanine is currently sitting at her home office desk on a video call with her fellow faction leaders. She has been doing all her work from home for the past month.

“He’s great.” Jeanine replies, she doesn’t really want to talk about her new baby right now. The past month has been all about the baby and she needs some normality back. 

“How is it actually going? You being a mother I mean.” Marcus is smirking. Jeanine wants to hit him but unfortunately can’t reach through the computer screen.

“It’s going very well.” 

“And your sobriety, how’s that going?”

Jeanine swallows. “It’s going well.” 

“Not ‘very well’? Only ‘well?” Marcus is grinning now.

“I’m sober Marcus.” Jeanine deadpans. “Can we get on with this meeting?” 

“So you can go back to your little family or so you can go and drink?” Marcus’ grin only gets better and Jeanine only gets more pissed off by the fact that she can’t hit him through the screen.

“So I can get away from you.” Jeanine shoots back.

“Mhm.” Marcus shuffles the papers in his hands condescendingly. “Very well,” He places them back down on his desk. “We shall continue with today’s meeting.”

They get back to the meeting but Jeanine’s wish is only shortly lived as Darcy comes crashing through her door only twenty minutes later. “I’m so sorry Jeanine!” she exclaims. “I didn’t want to interrupt you, I know you in a meeting.” She walks around to beside Jeanine and looks at the other faction representatives. “Hey guys!” She gives them a small wave with one hand but Aiden starts crying again. Johanna waves back with a smile. She starts bouncing him up and down. “I really need you to feed Aiden for me, he won’t stop crying.” She leans closer and whispers so that no one can hear her. “And I keep bleeding through my trousers.” 

Jeanine sighs. “Okay,” She extends her arms out. “Give me the crying machine.”

“Thank you!” Darcy hands her crying son to his other mother. “He’s been a nightmare. I’ll be right back with a bottle.”

“What? You mean Jeanine’s not going to breastfeed him?” Marcus pouts.

“Fuck off Marcus.” they both say in unison.

“What I’m just interested in the welfare of my-“

“Well I will be right back!” Darcy cuts him off before he can finish his sentence. She turns and runs out of the door and Jeanine quickly covers her camera so they can’t see the huge blood stain. When Darcy is gone, she takes her hand away and puts both her arms around Aiden again. 

“He’s adorable.” Johanna gushes. As if in protest, Aiden starts crying again. “Oh.” She sits back a little.

“Yes.” Jeanine bounces him in her arms. “He is quite the charmer.” 

They wait to commence the meeting until Darcy comes back with a bottle. “Thank you so much again.” Darcy whispers before going to get changed again.

Jeanine begins to feed him the pumped breast milk and he immediately stops crying. His face turns angelical as he sucks on the teet and Jeanine rolls her eyes. “You take after your mother.” she mutters. 

Max continues to report on the condition of Dauntless as Jeanine continues to feed Aiden. 

The meeting goes swimmingly again until Jeanine has to try and burp Aiden and he throws up on her shoulder. 

“Fucking brilliant.” Jeanine holds Aiden up in front of her. “You don’t want to make today easy for me do you?” Aiden makes a small noise. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”

“I really think that we should end this meeting and let Jeanine deal with her family right now.” Jack suggests. “We are basically done anyway.”

They all agree to end the meeting and Jeanine goes to get cleaned up and put Aiden to sleep.

“How are you feeling?” Jeanine asks after putting Aiden down for a nap. She sits down next to Darcy on the sofa.

“Exhausted.” 

“Yeah?” Jeanine pulls Darcy closer to her. “I am really proud of you.” she whispers, running her hand over Darcy’s side as Darcy relaxes into her. “You have handled everything so well.” 

“I can’t believe you stayed.” Darcy murmurs.

“We are a team Darcy. If you have to raise Marcus Eaton’s spawn, so do I.” Jeanine hears Darcy laugh a little. “Besides, he’s my child now.”

“We’ll raise him well and his biological father won’t matter at all.”

“Exactly.” Jeanine agrees. “As well as I can anyway. I’m not exactly the ideal mother.”

“You’re doing great.” Darcy moves her neck upwards and kisses her. “We are doing okay.”


	23. Chapter 23

“Aiden! You have got to stop!” Jeanine shouts, turning him back onto his back again. “You need to stop rolling!” Aiden just looks up at her with wide, innocent eyes. “God you are insufferably cute.” Jeanine huffs, picking him up and cradling him in her arms.

Darcy walks in, shopping bags in her arms. She places them down on the floor and shuts the door behind her. 

“How was he?” she asks, hanging her coat up on her coat peg.

“Does he always roll over for you?” Jeanine asks, playing with the small tuft of hair on his head.

“Yeah.” Darcy puts her keys back in the pot at the door. “Does he not usually for you?” 

“No, he started today.” 

“Maybe you need to start paying more attention to your son.” Darcy teases. 

Jeanine rolls her eyes “Need help with the bags?”

“Nah.” Darcy picks the bags back up. “Stay with Aiden.” She walks over to the two, placing a kiss on Aiden’s forehead and giving Jeanine a chaste kiss on the lips. “I love seeing you two together.” 

Darcy begins to unpack everything in the kitchen. She throws the receipt away in the bin and laughs a little when she sees a clump of blonde hair at the top of the bin. She exits the kitchen and leans in the doorway. “I see Aiden has started pulling at your hair.” 

Jeanine turns around to look at her. “Yes, he has quite the strong grip. When people said that having a baby makes you lose hair, I didn’t know they meant literally.” 

Darcy laughs and comes towards Jeanine. She takes Aiden from her. “Maybe he wanted you to be sympathetic with me.” Darcy has been suffering from postnatal hair loss but it’s thankfully easing up now.

“Maybe.” Jeanine smiles. “All I know is it hurts like a bitch.” 

“Maybe it’s the bit of Dauntless born blood in him.” Darcy tickles Aiden’s nose and he giggles a little. 

“He’s lucky that he’s cute.” Jeanine mutters.

-

“I got a comment from someone at the shops today.” Darcy says, taking a bite of pasta.

“Oh?” Jeanine puts down her glass of lemonade. “What about?”

Darcy shrugs. “They just wanted to know how we plan on raising a boy.” 

“Were they Abnegation?” 

Darcy twirls her spaghetti on her fork. “Possibly.”

“One day they will learn to mind their own fucking business!” Jeanine exclaims. 

“One day.” Darcy nods. She reaches across the table and takes Jeanine’s hand, rubbing her thumb on the back of her hand. “But for now, we just have to ignore them.” 

“Oh trust me, I’m trying.” 

“I know, you are very trying dear.” Darcy grins. 

Jeanine lightly slaps Darcy on the hand. “That’s not very nice. Is it?”

“I guess not.” Darcy laughs into her lemonade and causes a big bubble. It goes everywhere.

Jeanine dies of laughter and almost falls off of her chair.

-

“Do you think I’m fat?” Darcy whispers in the stillness of the night.

Jeanine rolls over to face her. “No. Why do you ask?” 

“I don’t know…” Darcy stares up at the ceiling. “I put on a lot of weight with Aiden and I haven’t really lost any of it.” 

“So? That’s normal.” 

Darcy sighs, rolling onto her side to face Jeanine. She can just about make out Jeanine’s wide eyes staring at her in the darkness of the room. “I guess…”

“You guess what Darcy?” Jeanine encourages.

“I’m worried that I have lost my sex appeal.” Darcy blurts out. 

“Darcy we got back together almost six months ago and we haven’t had sex since, you have absolutely no idea just how much sex appeal you have!” Jeanine hasn’t slept with anyone since Erin and she hasn’t been carrying a baby. Darcy hasn’t since Marcus… not exactly a great one to leave on. 

“So you would have sex with me still?” Darcy asks shyly.

Jeanine laughs. “I genuinely think that I would give my left arm to have sex with you.” 

“You mean that?” Darcy still finds it incredibly difficult to believe that Jeanine would come anywhere near her in that sort of manner. They haven’t even properly made out since they got back together. 

“Yes Darcy, I mean that.” 

“Would you want to… now?” Darcy whispers.

“Oh definitely yes!” Jeanine exclaims.

“Good.” Darcy leans in and kisses her. 

Jeanine kisses back, her hands coming up to cup Darcy’s face. Darcy pulls her on top of her and Jeanine deepens the kiss. “Just tell me if I hurt you.” Jeanine says, aware that Darcy could still be in some pain from delivery.

“Will do.” Darcy curls her legs around Jeanine.

-

“Last night was nice.” Darcy says, moving her top so that Aiden has better access to her nipple.

“Yes it was.” Jeanine places a glass of water down in front of Darcy and sits opposite her at the kitchen table. “It sure is a good thing that I didn’t do too much to your boobs last night or I think Aiden might have objected.” 

Darcy lets out a shocked laugh. “Jeanine!” 

“What?” Jeanine takes a sip of her coffee and arches an eyebrow. “I’m just saying.”

“He has certainly claimed ownership to be fair.” Darcy watches her son.

“Yes he has.” 

“Does it bother you?” Darcy asks.

“Look Darcy, I'm not saying you don’t have great boobs, because you do, but I’m hardly going to kick off about it.” Jeanine jokes. 

“You know that’s not what I meant.” Darcy deadpans. “Does it bother you that I can do something for our son that you can’t?” Darcy knows that Jeanine will try to avoid this conversation for as long as she can. She isn’t one for talking about feelings.

Jeanine places her mug down and sits up straight. “No. No, it doesn’t bother me. Why should it? Men have to go through it all the time.”

“You’re not a man Jeanine.”

“Very observant.”

Darcy rolls her eyes at Jeanine’s response. “You can never talk seriously, can you?”

Jeanine shakes her head. “No. But, whilst we are on the topic of men. How am I supposed to take you sleeping with Marcus? Do you like men too? I don’t care if you do, it doesn’t matter to me, but it seems like something that you need to talk about… To make sense of everything.” 

Darcy sighs. She shakes her head. “No… That was a mistake. Bicurious in the less conventional sense perhaps? Besides, sexuality is very fluid.  
But no…It was a mistake. Marcus definitely helped me to realise that I don’t like men.” 

Jeanine laughs. “I wonder how many people say that after just spending ten minutes in a room with him?” 

“Probably a lot of people.” Darcy smiles.

“At least he gave you a baby though.” Jeanine looks at Aiden. “He probably hasn’t done that for quite as many people.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure.” Darcy jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little PSA, whilst I see Darcy as a lesbian that experiences comphet, you can also see her as a pansexual who absolutely despises Marcus if you want.


	24. Chapter 24

“Is being back at work weird?” Erin asks, handing Jeanine a pen so she can sign the document in front of her.

“Uhh…” Jeanine signs the document and hands it to Erin. “I wouldn’t say it’s weird but I do miss Darcy and Aiden.” 

Erin puts the piece of paper in her binder and puts it to her chest. “He is adorable.” Erin has only met Aiden twice when she came round to drop work off for Jeanine. Things have been awkward between the three. Unsurprisingly. “Is he hard work too?” 

Jeanine stands. “Definitely. She walks around her desk to stand next to Erin and they begin to walk towards the labs. “It’s good to be back. I think I need a break but I feel bad for Darcy.” 

Erin holds a door open for Jeanine and the two enter. “Are you going to get a nanny for when she goes back to work?” 

“Yes, I suppose we will.” It’s not really something that Jeanine and Darcy have spoken about. That makes Jeanine feel stupid. How could she have not brought that up? “There is a slight problem with that though.” Jeanine realises aloud.

“What’s that?” Erin presses up against the wall as a very bust lab technician speeds past them with a trolley. 

Jeanine laughs a little and waits for Erin to come back to her side. “Well all the nannies are Abnegation.” 

“Oh yeah, I never really thought about that.” 

“So it will be difficult to get one to work for us.” 

“I’m sure there is some Abnegation out there that isn’t a bigoted idiot.” Erin thinks for a minute. “There’s two men I know that had a baby a couple of years ago. They had this lovely nanny from Abnegation.” 

“Really?” Jeanine enters the pin on the secured door and pushes it open. “Do you think you could ask them who it was?” Jeanine shuts the door behind them. 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Obviously there is also the problem of purely who I am though.” Jeanine remembers.

“I refuse to believe that you have that bad of a reputation.” 

Jeanine chokes. “Whatever allows you to sleep at night Erin.” 

-

“I’m sorry Aiden.” Darcy walks around the living room, bouncing Aiden up and down in her arms. “I don’t know what you want from me!” Aiden hasn’t stopped crying for the past two hours. Darcy has tried everything. She has tried to feed him, he’s not hungry. She tried to get him to sleep, he was having absolutely none of that. She cannot get him to stop crying. “A mother should be able to get their baby to stop crying.” she whispers, a tear falling down her cheek. 

Half an hour later, Jeanine arrives. “Darcy?” She places her back down on the living room table. She looks around and sees her wife nowhere. Then she hears a cry. Following the cry, she ends up in their bedroom. She spots Darcy. “Darcy? What’s wrong? What’s going on?” 

Darcy looks up, tears filling her eyes, a baby screaming tirelessly on her arms. “He won’t stop.” she whispers. “I thought that he would have at least cried himself to sleep by this point.” 

“Oh Darcy.” Jeanine whispers. She sits on the edge of the bed and extends her arms out. “Give him to me.” Darcy places him in her arms. “Come on. Quiet down for me and Mommy.” She takes his little hand in hers. “Come on. Everything’s okay.” she soothes.

After a few minutes, Aiden quiets down and begins to snuggle into Jeanine’s breast. 

“How did you do that?” Darcy asks in both shock and awe… and maybe perhaps a little bit of jealousy.

“He just needed me.” Jeanine says simply. 

“He doesn’t like me?” 

Jeanine laughs. “No! He loves you! He just has attachment issues because it’s my first day away from him for a long time. I have only left him to do things like shopping before.” 

“Oh.” Darcy whispers. “I guess that makes sense.”

“It makes perfect sense Darcy.” Jeanine studies her closely. She looks so unsure. “Why are you being like this?”

Darcy shrugs. “I don’t know.” she mutters.

“Liar.” Jeanine says. “Tell me the truth.”

“I’m afraid that I am a bad mother.” Darcy confesses. 

“You are a great mother.” Jeanine reassures her. Aiden makes a little noise. “See? Even Aiden agrees.”

Darcy laughs a little and nods. “Okay.”

-

“He’s actually asleep.” Darcy says, walking into the living room and sitting down next to Jeanine. She curls up next to her, leaning into her wife. 

“Well done you. I thought he would never sleep.” Jeanine pulls Darcy closer to her and wraps her arm around her. “Even more proof that you are an excellent mother.”

Darcy blushes. “How was work today?” she changes the subject. “Is it good to be back?” She knows that Jeanine had anxieties about going back to work and leaving her and Aiden alone.

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” Jeanine plays with the TV remote on the sofa arm, flipping it around in her hands. “It was nice to see everyone again.” She chuckles a little. “And it seems that, even over email, I am still intimidating since everything was in perfect order.”

“That’s my girl.” Darcy laughs.

“Let’s just hope my wonderfully kind attitude will rub off on Aiden.” 

Darcy shakes her head. “That poor boy.”

Jeanine is just about to say something when the remote flies against the wall. She covers her mouth in shock and Darcy laughs. “Oh fuck.” she mutters.

“You idiot!” Darcy exclaims, sitting up. 

Jeanine buries her face in her hands as Darcy continues to laugh. “It’s been such a long day.” she murmurs.

“Oh.” Darcy throws her arm around Jeanine’s neck and pulls at her. “Don’t be sad dear.” She stifles her laughter. “We all have our moments.”


	25. Chapter 25

“Jeanine!” Darcy shouts, almost tripping over the car seat on the floor. “Argh! Jeanine!” she shouts again.

“What?!” Jeanine shouts back from the bathroom.

“I can’t find Aiden’s hat!” 

Darcy hears a sigh, the toilet flush, the tap run and a door open before a very agitated Jeanine appears in the nursery. “Then choose a different one and we can look for it later.” Jeanine says, as though it is the most obvious thing in the world. 

“I want him to wear that one!” Darcy opens several drawers at the same time. 

Jeanine shakes her head, becoming fully aware that this is once again another situation with Darcy that isn’t as simple as it looks. “Okay.” She walks over to Darcy and takes her shaking hands. “Time to tell me what’s actually happening here.”

“Nothing’s happening,” Darcy snatches her hands away. “I just need to find the fucking hat.” She throws several pairs of trousers on the floor before falling down in tears.

Jeanine sits down next to her, staring at the wall as Darcy cries, aware that Darcy won’t want to talk right now. After five minutes, she decides to say something. “Ready to talk now?” she asks.

“I don’t want my parents to think that we are raising him badly.” Darcy confesses. It’s visiting day today, it’s the first time that Darcy’s parents will get to meet Aiden.

“Why would they ever think that?” 

“I don’t know.” She turns to look at Jeanine. “We see them once a year. The last time I saw them, I was six months pregnant and trying to pretend like my marriage wasn’t totally fucked. They love you Jeanine, they think you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. They suspected something was wrong because lovely Jeanine would never miss a meeting with her parents-in-law. They were probably so disappointed in me. Now I need to earn back their respect.” 

“You don’t have to earn their respect Darcy.” Jeanine reaches out and takes Darcy’s hands. This time, Darcy doesn’t pull away. “You are their daughter, you deserve their love and you should have it no matter what.” Darcy goes to argue but Jeanine cuts her off. “And, if it goes really bad, I will kick off about something and make them hate me too. I do a great job at making everyone else hate me so it can’t be too hard to do the same for them.” 

Darcy laughs a little. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Darcy smiles and nods. “Yeah.” She stands and picks up one of the stray hats on the floor. “This will do.” 

Jeanine looks up at her. “Great choice.”

Darcy extends her arms out to help Jeanine get up. “Why thank you.” She pulls Jeanine close to her and kisses her. 

“We shouldn’t do that in front of your parents.” Jeanine murmurs, out of breath.

“I guess not.” Darcy kisses her again, slipping her hand under Jeanine’s blouse. Jeanine deepens the kiss and lets out a small moan before Aiden begins to cry in the living room.

Jeanine pulls away. “If we were heterosexual,” She tucks her blouse back into her pencil skirt. “I would probably make a joke about how that is how we ended up with him in the first place.” 

Darcy laughs. “Yes but I suppose we have him anyway.” 

“I suppose so.” Jeanine feigns sadness. “Come on.” She gives Darcy a quick peck on the lips and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ears. 

They both exit the room and Jeanine gets Aiden out of his bouncy chair. “Have you had enough of the vibration?” Jeanine asks, lifting him up and down in her arms.

“That is something that your other mother will never say.” Darcy whispers, leaning her chin on Jeanine’s shoulder. “I’m sure that’s all she did whilst I was pregnant with you.”

Jeanine chokes. “Jumping to conclusions much?” Darcy puts her face in front of Jeanine’s and arches an eyebrow. “Okay fine.”

Darcy smiles and kisses her briefly. “We need to get ready to see my parents.” she says.

Jeanine nods. “Yes.” She hands Darcy Aiden. “You take this little man and I will go and put the car seat in the car.” 

It doesn’t take them too long to get into the car and start driving towards Dauntless. 

“Mom said that she would find us a quiet room so that Aiden isn’t around too much noise.” Darcy says, tickling Aiden’s belly in the back of the car.

“That’s good.” Jeanine makes a turn. “He has had a good day today and we don’t want to ruin that.” 

They arrive at Dauntless and spot Darcy’s parents at the entrance. 

“You had him!” Stellar exclaims, running over to them.

“Yes.” Darcy chuckles. “You can hold him soon if you would like.”

“Would I like?! Oh come here Darcy!” Stellar wraps her arms around Darcy. “You’re a mother!” She turns to Jeanine. “And you, my favourite daughter-in-law,” Only daughter-in-law but it’s a nice sentiment. “You stayed with my little disaster.” She hits her on the shoulder. “Good on you.” 

Anthony walks over to them. “You want to go find a room and then I can grab a couple of beers for us all.” 

“Jeanine’s driving and well it’s not fair for only me to drink.” Darcy says, attempting to avoid the real reason. It’s not her place to say it.

“So the newspapers were right?” Anthony says, looking at Jeanine with sympathy. Jeanine refuses to make eye contact, looking down at the ground in shame. This isn’t how she wanted this to go. “Ah Jeanine, don’t look away from me. Don’t be a pansycake.” He walks over to her and wraps her in a hug, slapping her on the back. He pulls away, putting his hands on her shoulders. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’ll scrap the alcohol.” 

“Thank you.” Jeanine whispers.

Stellar smiles at her. “You need to have more faith in us. We may be Dauntless but we do have hearts and we do love you.” 

“See?” Darcy says, taking her hand. “People don’t care.”

“Everyone has their shit.” Anthony shrugs. “And addiction is not your fault.” He takes the pushchair from his daughter. “Now let’s introduce this little one to Dauntless.” 

They walk into headquarters and find a small area to themselves. Stellar takes him out of the pushchair. She begins to throw him around carefully. It certainly doesn’t look careful to Jeanine who almost has heart failure everytime she sees her son up in the air. Darcy on the other hand grew up with this kind of behaviour and is completely unfazed.

Anthony pats Stellar on the shoulder, an Erudite born, he is much more aware of how Jeanine must be feeling right now. “I think you should probably stop before Jeannie has heart failure.” 

Jeanine hates nicknames but lets it slide. “It doesn’t bother me that much.” she tries to convince herself.

“No, no, it’s okay.” Stellar smiles, handing Aiden to her husband. “I respect people from other factions.” 

Jeanine smiles. “Thank you.”

“Of course Jeanine.” Stellar puts her hand on her arm. “You’ll be a good mother,” she says. “I can tell.” She turns to her daughter. “Both of you. You are going to raise a great son.” 

“Yeah.” Anthony smirks. “There is no way he can turn out better than you though, our parenting skills are completely unmatched.” 

The four burst out laughing.


	26. Chapter 26

“Aiden has started teething.” Jeanine says, throwing a pile of paperwork down onto her desk and practically falling into her chair. “It’s exhausting. He does not stop crying!” 

“Have you tried teething rings?” Erin asks, sitting down on one of the two chairs in front of Jeanine’s desk. Erin has a very limited knowledge on babies but has been trying to find out a little more about them ever since Aiden was born. 

“Of course!” Jeanine throws her hands up in the air, extremely agitated. “We have tried everything! There is nothing we haven’t tried but he is still in agony and Darcy and I cannot get any sleep!” 

Erin thinks for a moment before an idea comes to her. “I could babysit him later. You and Darcy can go out for dinner or even just get some sleep at my place or something.” 

Jeanine takes a minute to reply, weighing out the pros and cons in her head. It’s something that could be really good for both her and Darcy but how would Darcy feel about Erin looking after their son? “Okay, I will call Darcy and ask.” 

“Okay.” Erin stands, opening the file in her hand. “I will go and deal with this.” 

Jeanine watches her walk away before she gets the phone out of her bag and flips it open. She dials Darcy’s number and it rings several times before Darcy answers. “Jeanine?” 

“Darcy, I’m just calling to ask your opinion on-” Jeanine is cut off by Aiden’s screaming.

“Sorry.” Darcy mutters. “What were you saying?” 

“I am calling you to ask you what you think about Erin looking after Aiden so we can actually have some time to ourselves?” 

“Time away from the crying?” 

“Yes.” 

“Fuck yes!” Darcy screams so loud that Jeanine winces and has to take her phone away from her ear slightly.

“Yes?” 

“Yes!” 

-

“Are you sure that you can take care of him?” Jeanine asks, putting her coat on to leave the apartment.

“She’ll be fine!” Darcy exclaims. “We are leaving this hell!” She opens the door and lets the freezing cold air in. They really need to fix the aircon. “Thank you very much Erin and I love you Aiden.” She grabs Jeanine’s hand. “You, come with me!” 

Jeanine doesn’t even quite register what is happening before she is out of the door and shivering. “Where are we even going?” 

“Anywhere that isn’t in there!” Darcy remains her grip on Jeanine’s hand as she drags her through the streets of the serval apartment buildings of Erudite. Darcy begins to walk faster and faster until it’s more like a run and she has to stop when the sound of Jeanine’s heavy breathing gets louder and louder. She doesn’t run. 

“Where are we actually going?” Jeanine asks, putting her hands on her knees and bending over in a futile attempt to get her scarce breath back. “I don’t like not knowing.” 

“I know.” Darcy grins, walking over to her and taking her arm to help her straighten herself back up. “That’s why I like to keep you on your toes.”

“You’re a bitch.” Jeanine wheezes. 

“Pot, kettle.” Darcy smiles, allowing Jeanine to lean on her. “But okay, we are taking the long way to Erin’s.” 

“Why would we ever do that?” 

“Because you are clearly very unfit and need to exercise more.” 

Jeanine rolls her eyes. “I think you just secretly hate me.” 

Darcy shrugs. “Maybe. Now, come on, you have had enough rest time.” 

The two start walking down the streets again, weaving in and out until they eventually make it to Erin’s apartment building. Darcy opens the door and waits for a very exhausted Jeanine to walk in. They walk up the stairs just so that Darcy can torture Jeanine a little bit more and pass on old Erudite woman who looks extremely confused to see her exhausted faction leader and her grinning wife in her apartment building. Then she remembers Erin and it all seems to click into place. She gives the two a small smile and lets them get on their way. When they make it to the top, Jeanine looks just about ready to slap Darcy hard across the face.

“I think I’m dead. Jeanine breaths.

“Well you are clearly not.” Darcy says. Ignoring Jeanine’s constant complaining has become quite a common occurrence for her. 

“Whatever.” Jeanine bends down in front of the retainer scanner on Erin’s door and lets sit scan her eye before the door clicks open and they walk inside.

“It’s nice in here.” Darcy comments, throwing her coat down on the sofa.

“You have been here before you know?” 

“I know. Just thought I should say something nice.” Darcy walks into the kitchen and pours a glass of water. She comes back in and hands it to Jeanine. “Drink this before you pass out.” 

Jeanine downs the glass before thrusting it back into Darcy’s arms and glaring at her. “You are trying to be nice about Erin because she is looking after Aiden.” 

“Bingo.” Darcy takes the glass back into the kitchen and rinses it out. 

“The whole point of this is so we can relax, this doesn’t feel relaxing.” 

“Aww.” Darcy pouts. She looks at Jeanine’s tired face and pulls her close to her. “Maybe you need to start exercising more.” Jeanine shakes her head but she can’t stop the corners of her mouth from turning up in the creation of a small smile. “You’re smiling!” Darcy tucks a hair behind her ear. “You have a lovely smile dear, you should really use it more.” 

“Are you on a mission to piss me off today?”

“Possibly.” Darcy grins, taking Jeanine’s chin in her hands and turning it upwards. She kisses her delicately. “I’m very proud of you for doing all of that in heels though.” 

“Thank you!” Jeanine exclaims.

Darcy laughs, shaking her head. “You are criminally underappreciated aren’t you my love?” 

Jeanine hits her lightly. “I hate you sometimes.” 

“Love you too.” Darcy takes her hand and kisses it mockingly before walking over to the sofa and grabbing the TV remote. “Want to watch a film?” 

“If it means I don’t have to listen to you for at least two hours, definitely.” 

“Isn’t our marriage beautiful.” Darcy says sarcastically.

“Yes.” Jeanine sits down on the sofa. “That’s what happens when you have been together since you were teenagers and you are in your thirties.” 

“Romance is officially dead.” Darcy turns the TV on and sits down next to Jeanine. She takes Jeanine’s feet and takes her heels off before putting them in her lap. 

Almost an hour and a half later, the film finishes. Darcy turns the TV off, her head flopping against the back of the sofa. “It’s so nice to be away from all that crying,” Darcy turns to look at Jeanine. “I do miss him a little though.”

Jeanine reaches out and takes Darcy’s hand. “You are doing so well.” 

“Thank you,” Darcy whispers. “So are you.” She moves closer to Jeanine and kisses her.

Jeanine kisses back, softly first until Darcy decides to deepen it a lot further. She pulls Jeanine on top of her and Jeanine moves against her before she stops, remembering where they are. “We probably shouldn’t have sex on Erin’s sofa.” she mutters. 

“Didn’t you fuck Erin on our sofa?”

“Well yes…” 

“Then I think it’s only fair that you fuck me on Erin’s sofa.” Darcy smirks.

Jeanine shakes her head, biting her lip. “Okay. I suppose we should make the most out of our time away from the baby.” 

Darcy tuts, shaking her head. “Don’t bring up the baby Jeanine, it’s a real turn off.”

Jeanine rolls her eyes before leaning in and kissing Darcy again.


	27. Chapter 27

“So did you say that Erin knows them?” Darcy asks, unfolding the pushchair.

Jeanine nods, reading the newspaper in her hands before throwing it down on the side. “Yeah.” She picks Aiden up to put him in the pushchair. “Fuck me you’re getting big.” she mutters.

“We need to think about stopping swearing around him.” Darcy says, strapping him in.

Jeanine huffs. “That’s going to be impossible.”

“You’ll make it work.” Darcy gives Aiden a kiss on the forehead.

They leave the apartment and make their way to the two men’s apartment. The door swings open almost as soon as they knock on the door. 

“Hi!” a cheery looking man welcomes them. He holds his hand out and Jeanine takes it to shake. “I’m Martin and Mark is just waiting inside.”

“Pleasure to meet you Martin.” Jeanine gives him her rehearsed professional smile. She’s uncomfortable, she doesn’t know them. 

Darcy senses Jeanine’s uncomfort and takes over the situation. “I’m Darcy and I’m fairly sure you know Jeanine.” 

Martin nods. “Yes we all know Jeanine.” He steps to the side. “Please come in.” 

“Thank you.” Jeanine whispers, walking in. 

Darcy follows her and manages to get in after struggling with the pushchair. 

“I don’t miss those days.” Mark says, walking into the hallway. “I’m Mark, it’s wonderful to meet you both.” He bends down in front of Aiden. “And you.” 

“It’s wonderful to meet you too.” Darcy says. She looks at Jeanine, widening her eyes as indication that she should say something.

“Yes, it’s so kind of you to have us.” Jeanine fiddles with the sleeves of her blazer. Darcy reaches out and takes her hand in reassurance. Jeanine gets anxious a lot no matter what the occasion but for some reason she always seems to be able to control it better when it is in a professional setting. This is all too personal for her. 

Mark notices Jeanine’s behaviour and raises his eyebrows slightly, he didn’t know that Jeanine could be anything but perfectly composed. “Well, shall we take a seat?” 

Jeanine nods far more eagerly than intended, she needs to get out of this hallway. They follow them through to a small living room.

They sit down, Jeanine taking Aiden out of the pushchair and placing him in her lap. She plays with his hair in a desperate attempt to remain calm. 

“So you’re looking for a nanny?” Martin sits down next to Mark. “That’s what Erin told us.”

“Yes that is correct.” Darcy confirms. Jeanine just nods. 

“Well we had a lovely one, an Amity born so no judgement from her.” Mark says. “I assume that’s why you have come to us? Worried about the fact that you are lesbians?”

“Yes.” Jeanine coughs, her voice is too quiet. “Yes.” she repeats louder this time. “They are conservative… Their leader is conservative.”

“Marcus.” Mark nods and looks at Martin. “Me and Martin have always said that we are extremely lucky to have you. Haven’t we Martin?”

“Oh yes definitely.” Martin agrees. “I mean you are the first openly lgbt faction representative Chicago has ever had.” 

“Yes, yes I suppose I am.” She doesn't suppose, she remembers how big of a thing it was at the time. When she took over from Norton and everything came out about her. The first female Erudite leader in over one hundred years. The first openly lgbtqia+ faction representative ever. A huge fanfare when Erudite tried to pretend like it was more progressive than it was, like she didn’t get shit endlessly for the exact same reasons from their previous leader. 

Mark leans forward. “Look, I know that you must be nervous about everything to do with Aiden right now. That is his name right?” Darcy nods. “Thought so. But Violet is a true Abnegation, an Abnegation that actually embodies the traits they all lie and claim to have. Not quite all of them are bad and I promise that this one is lovely.”

“See we were also concerned that she may have some issues with who Jeanine is.” Darcy says, looking at her wife who is currently attempting to stop her hands from shaking by moving Aiden around like he is dancing. Darcy has to stifle a laugh at the sight. “Are you aware of any political views she may have?” 

Both Mark and Martin think for a minute but neither of them can remember anytime that Violet displayed any sort of distaste for Erudite or Jeanine. They both shake their heads. “No.” Martin says.

“That’s great then.” Darcy looks at Jeanine like she is a misbehaving and distracted child. “Jeanine?” 

Jeanine stops dead in her tracks, Aiden lifted slightly in the air. “He likes to move around.” she mutters. The two men nod and Darcy has to cover her mouth with her sleeve to stop herself from laughing. “But yes she sounds great.” She slowly moves Aiden back down to sit on her lap. “Can you give us a way to contact her?” 

“Sure.” Mark says, grinning at his husband over what he has just witnessed.

-

Jeanine and Darcy step out of the car and walk to the back of the car to get Aiden out. Jeanine gets the pushchair out of the boot and Darcy unbuckles him from his car seat only to buckle him into his pushchair. They begin the walk to Violet’s house only to be stopped by Marcus. 

“What are you two doing here?” he asks in the most accusatory tone known to man. 

“We are here to talk to a woman, I don’t think it’s really any of your business.”Darcy says, attempting to walk past him. 

Marcus stops them. “It is, if it has to do with my son.”

“He’s not your son. He’s ours. Now please get out of our way.” Jeanine pushes Marcus to the side but he grabs her arm and pulls her back, digging his fingernails into her arm.

“Get off of her.” Darcy threatens, gripping tightly onto the pushchair in anger. 

“No.” Marcus spits. “If I cannot act as a father, I will act as the council leader. You two should not be seen in Abnegation together at this time. Innocent Abnegation children are home and I will not have you parade your,” He swallows. “Lesbianism and sluttiness around.” He releases Jeanine harshly. 

“How on Earth are we doing that?” Jeanine asks, attempting to ignore the throbbing pain in her arm. She stands back next to Darcy.

“You’re outfits.” 

“Our outfits?” Darcy repeats in bewilderment. 

“You,” He points at Jeanine and she has to hold herself back from seriously hurting him. “Are wearing a tie.” 

“It goes with the outfit.” Jeanine shrugs.

“It’s masculine.” 

“Wow imagine if people didn’t feel the need to gender everything!” Jeanine exclaims, she is beggining to lose her cool. 

Marcus ignores her and moves onto Darcy. “And you can see her boobs.”

“My cleavage, you can see my cleavage.” Darcy is extremely glad that she is holding onto the pushchair right now or Marcus would probably be dead on the floor.

“It’s disgusting and not permitted here.” 

“Take the fucking kid Jeanine!” Darcy shouts, getting ready to punch Marcus hard in the face.

“Hey!” Violet stops the fight before it can even start. “I was wondering why you three were late.” She looks at Marcus. “What is going on here?” 

“Just keeping everyone in line.” Marcus states through gritted teeth.

“Was anyone ever out of line?” she questions.

“I stopped it before it could start.” Marcus shoots a look at the two Erudites and Jeanine has to grab onto Darcy’s arm and the pushchair to stop anything bad from happening.

Violet surveys the situation, it becomes increasingly clear to her that Marcus isn’t going to leave and Jeanine and Darcy don’t want him to listen in on the conversations. “I’ll start as soon as you want me to, just call the volunteer centre the day before.” Then she walks off, ending the conversation.

“She shouldn’t be working for you, she’s a good pers-“ 

“Shut the fuck up Marcus.” Jeanine cuts him off. 

Darcy smirks and kisses Jeanine on the cheek. “Oh dear,” She feigns concern. “Are all the little Abnegation girls lesbians now?” Marcus swallows, unsure of what to say back. He lacks any sort of intelligence. “You make sure that girls know that they are lesbians just fine on your own Marcus.” She takes hold of the pushchair again and they walk off.


End file.
